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Friday, May 26, 2006 - 8:30 PM
ang araw na to..
ay araw mo..
pag-dating mo, sa aking mundo..
matatandaan. di malilimutan..
kailanman..
kailanman..
ang saya ng mundo
ngayong ikaw ay narito...
so goes an advertisement i've been hearing on the radio and the television for quite a time now.
when you love something or someone, you'd do anything for that someone or something to remain.
you give up a lot of things. you spend a lot of time. sometimes you even go way out of your limit just to make that someone happy.
(i'll be using someone from now on. to avoid confusion. but it could still mean anything.)
why do you do all of these stuff? because seeing that someone happy makes YOU happy. simple.
enter prejudice.
no matter how hard you try. no matter how much effort you've given. no matter how much good you do and no matter how much love you give, when prejudice enters, everything you do means nothing.
i had an interview kanina at san beda. yes, i am almost sure i will be studying in beda. anyways, back to the interview. uhm. here is what i remember of the interview.
yadah yadah yadah..
what i am trying to say is that san beda is NOT UST.
...
maybe you are looking for UST in beda.
... no. i am not looking for UST in beda. i'm sure of it.
well, that's one thing i had to clear.
...
tell me, do you think people deserve second chances?
of course they do.
why?
because people make mistakes. and from these mistakes they learn. and when they learn, people act on the mistakes they've done and try not to repeat them.
people do deserve second chances. if people do not give second chances, it would really be unfair. second chances are given to people so that these people could prove to others that he could do things. and most importantly, second chances are given so that people could prove to theirselves that they could do it.
matatandaan..
di malilimutan..
but no matter how hard you try, when people have closed their minds to second chances, especially when they have closed their minds irrationally, you will just be f***ed up.
is it not devastating? that feeling? the knowledge that you will not be given fair judgement because one dislikes you? that no matter how much you've lost, you are given unfair judgement.
i have been thinking. what use is it if i continue doing stuff for someone i love when that someone have already closed his mind. ayoko namang umasa sa wala. and it doesn't matter how much i give, i am still given an unfair judgement.
what if i quit?
di malilimutan..
kailanman..
kailanman..
maybe it is better if i stop this passion i give for this something. hindi rin naman ako magiging masaya diba? it's hard, my situation. it really is.
i am losing this passion i have for something. i have given so much for it. but i think what i have given doesn't really matter.
ugh.. for no excuse at all. why do that to me for no reason?
i am reaching the brink of quitting. if i do, i will remember everything. good and bad.
ang saya ng mundo..
ngayong ikaw ay narito..
i had fun. but a little more of that philosophy of yours and i am sure to quit. really.
maybe i am cursed with this:
to live in infinite abyss
and tears i cannot help but shed
while i suffer on my bed.
-from bliss, a poem by gab caraon
ehjiboi got weird at 8:30 PM
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