Wednesday, May 31, 2006 - 6:43 PM
i have realized some things over the month.
i have realized that people think i am short. well, not REALLY short, but shorter that what i really am.
they say that i look kinda small in my pictures. hmm.. that explains the surprised looks on people i meet. haha.
truth is, i am tall. i stand 5 feet, 11 inches. ask my friends.
i love anime.
yeah. i really do. i have been watching the morning animes on GMA and QTV and i am totally hooked. specially with One Piece and D.N.Angel. i have even bought the game console of One Piece for the playstaion.
i am getting old.
proof that i am getting old is that my cousins, who were so small when i last checked them, are now in their sixth grade. i have been hanging out with them this summer (i had no choice), and watching them play brings me memories of my childhood. when i was in their place, playing with sand, throwing aratilis fruits at anyone in sight. then it hit me.
only old people get memories of their childhood.
love stuff realizations.
guy: truth is.. we hide because we want to be found... we walk away to see who follows. we cry to see who wipes away the tears.. and we let our hearts broken to see who comes and fixes them..
me: yeah.. in some cases. kasi after that happens, you will know what to do next.
guy: can't answer that.
me: nakakatakot di ba? the idea you've given me kanina. nakakatakot yung time in between the time you hide and the time you find out who comes after you... yung time na you walk away and the time someone comes after you.. yung time na umiyak ka and the time someone wipes away your tears. yung mga in betweens na yun ang nakakatakot.. what if walang naghanap sayo? what if walang humabol? walang magpatahan sa pag-iyak mo?
people often ask me about my lurvlife. well, i always tell them that i have zero. why do i have zero lovelife? i don't know. haha. honestly.
maybe it is because i am scared to commit. hmm.. yeah. someone just told me over yahoo that they smell fear of commitment in me. and maybe they're right. maybe i am scared. maybe i am scared because i don't know if i could still manage to do that, you know, commit.
tsk. the problem with love is you can't really understand it.
commit. hmm.. i will commit, just make me.
Monday, May 29, 2006 - 8:24 PM
is it possible to fall in love with somebody you've never even seen?
this may sound very far-fetched. i mean, how could that happen? di naman siguro pwede yun diba? it will never happen to me.. sobrang layong mangyari...
chris suddenly woke up. his cellphone was ringing violently on his bedside table. he picked it up and saw who was calling. it was his friend rachelle.
"nasan ka na ba? kanina pa kami dito sa chowking!"
"ha? anong oras na ba?" it was already 9:30 in the morning. chris is 45 minutes late for their meeting.
"i'm so sorry! kakagising ko lang kasi eh. you guys go ahead. sunod na lang ako."
"nakakainis ka naman oh! palagi ka na lang late!" Chelle said. " sige na, bilisan mo ha!"
"oo promise! sorry talaga."
chelle is chris's bestfriend. the two of them, together with six other friends are the writers of the town's summer magazine. two weeks na silang nagsusulat. two weeks na din silang nagsa-sacrifice ng summer.
it was scorching hot outside. chris grew more worried by the minute as the traffic jammed road showed no sign of moving. he checked his watch. 10:16am. he's in trouble alright.
at long last, chris arrived at their office in royal hills. his friends were already half-way through their lunch.
"lunch na." sharie said once she saw chris climb up the stairs.
"oo nga eh. sorry talaga ha."
"hay nako, sanay na kami sayo noh. just drop your things and join us." tina said.
chris sat down between chelle and kim.
nothing came after this.
i rummaged around the house, looking for nothing in particular. then i saw this black booklet i was required to buy when i was in highschool. it was for this project i had to do before i get my clearance in fourth year. i had to write something (journal, stories, stuff) in it and pass it to my class adviser.
pero i didn't get to use it naman eh. i put my project in print, tamad ksi akong magsulat by hand.
anyway, i opened the booklet and saw some scribbles. journals and poems. the longest one i saw was this, the one i posted above.
i attempted to make a story pala. haha.
i don't know. i really think that i am too lazy to make a long story. and by the way this crap above is written, i am thinking that i was planning to make my first ever long fictional story.
but i didn't finish it.
hmm.. i can't remember why i didn't finish it. but i have a theory.
maybe it wasn't finished because the inspiration i had to start it vanished in the process of it's completion. yeah, that must be it.
everything starts with one goal. one inspiration. pero if that inspiration is lost, you wouldn't want to continue the work you've started diba? meaningless na.
i think i will not be finishing this story. the idea has expired.
like one thing i couldn't give anymore...
guess what THAT is.
Friday, May 26, 2006 - 8:30 PM
ang araw na to..
ay araw mo..
pag-dating mo, sa aking mundo..
matatandaan. di malilimutan..
ang saya ng mundo
ngayong ikaw ay narito...
so goes an advertisement i've been hearing on the radio and the television for quite a time now.
when you love something or someone, you'd do anything for that someone or something to remain.
you give up a lot of things. you spend a lot of time. sometimes you even go way out of your limit just to make that someone happy.
(i'll be using someone from now on. to avoid confusion. but it could still mean anything.)
why do you do all of these stuff? because seeing that someone happy makes YOU happy. simple.
no matter how hard you try. no matter how much effort you've given. no matter how much good you do and no matter how much love you give, when prejudice enters, everything you do means nothing.
i had an interview kanina at san beda. yes, i am almost sure i will be studying in beda. anyways, back to the interview. uhm. here is what i remember of the interview.
yadah yadah yadah..
what i am trying to say is that san beda is NOT UST.
maybe you are looking for UST in beda.
... no. i am not looking for UST in beda. i'm sure of it.
well, that's one thing i had to clear.
tell me, do you think people deserve second chances?
of course they do.
because people make mistakes. and from these mistakes they learn. and when they learn, people act on the mistakes they've done and try not to repeat them.
people do deserve second chances. if people do not give second chances, it would really be unfair. second chances are given to people so that these people could prove to others that he could do things. and most importantly, second chances are given so that people could prove to theirselves that they could do it.
but no matter how hard you try, when people have closed their minds to second chances, especially when they have closed their minds irrationally, you will just be f***ed up.
is it not devastating? that feeling? the knowledge that you will not be given fair judgement because one dislikes you? that no matter how much you've lost, you are given unfair judgement.
i have been thinking. what use is it if i continue doing stuff for someone i love when that someone have already closed his mind. ayoko namang umasa sa wala. and it doesn't matter how much i give, i am still given an unfair judgement.
what if i quit?
maybe it is better if i stop this passion i give for this something. hindi rin naman ako magiging masaya diba? it's hard, my situation. it really is.
i am losing this passion i have for something. i have given so much for it. but i think what i have given doesn't really matter.
ugh.. for no excuse at all. why do that to me for no reason?
i am reaching the brink of quitting. if i do, i will remember everything. good and bad.
ang saya ng mundo..
ngayong ikaw ay narito..
i had fun. but a little more of that philosophy of yours and i am sure to quit. really.
maybe i am cursed with this:
to live in infinite abyss
and tears i cannot help but shed
while i suffer on my bed.
-from bliss, a poem by gab caraon
Thursday, May 25, 2006 - 9:04 PM
by gab caraon
umasang sa pagdilat ay mawala siya.
at umasang sa pag-gising ay mawala ang panaginip.
umasang sa pagtulo ng luha'y sumabay na mawala ang nararamdaman.
punasan mo na yan.
sino bang niloko mo?
tanga tayong lahat sa pag-ibig...
Tuesday, May 23, 2006 - 7:39 PM
so what if Jesus had a wife?
yeah, i've watched the movie without reading the book. my friends and i watched Da Vinci Code yesterday at Robinson's galleria.
so there we were, all four of us looking up at the screen (really up because we were seated at the very front). my friend kai told me that the movie is a bit dissapointing compared to the book itself. but every movie from a book turns out to be not as stunning or as good as the book itself. the last movie rendition of a novel that i liked was the chronicles of narnia: the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe.
anyway, back to da vinci.
having not read the book, it is my opinion that the movie was quite satisfactory. i'm guessing that it didn't reveal as much as the book did, but now i have an understanding on what the whole da vinci code uproar is about.
and what is it really about?
wala lang. it just tells us that jesus christ had a wife, mary magdalene. and that the holy grail is not a cup (as most of us, including me, have imagined before) but really is a woman, mary magdalene still. the whole movie was a chase. Langdon, played by Tom Hanks, was framed as i may say to be the murderer of Jacques Sauniere (Jean-Pierre Marielle) by a catholic organization, Opus Dei. Langdon is later joined by Sophie Neveu (oh i just love saying her name), a gifted cryptologist. together they travel through europe, being chased by the Opus Dei, all the while finding more about the codes and 'the secret'.
my opinion on the message of the movie? hmm..
well, i think that the whole idea of jesus having a kid and a wife is not at all bad (sorry for the word, can't think of anything else that suites). ano naman kung may anak at asawa siya diba? it doesn't change the fact that he still saved us from our sins.
people often over react to what other people say about stuff. yun ata ang law ng mga opinion makers. that's how the hypodermic needle works. someone says something about stuff, and the people who believes this someone will believe what he says.
well, who am i to have a say on this right?
Sunday, May 21, 2006 - 7:03 PM
we watched this play last friday entitled 'OUR TOWN' at the ccp complex.
what is the verdict? i like it.
the play did not give much attention to the costumes and the props and music. just plain acting, which is really great because people focus their attention on the story and not on how badly made the costumes where.
i like this play's script. i love it. it made me realize that life is a treasure. pardon the cheezyness, but life really is valuable. i love life and i love living it. the only problem is i am confused over things.
anyways, i took a platelet (maliit na plate, hehe) where they put chili sauce in from chowking. wala lang, it was a spur of the moment thing. am i bad?
i was confused last friday. i was confused over everything. i was confused when i was in starbucks tomas morato with mingu. i was confused about everything that i was saying.
where did all this confusion come from?
i don't know, honestly.
stop it. stop thinking too much.
Thursday, May 18, 2006 - 5:20 PM
i have now the paper that'll ensure my passage to heaven.
Ang CERTIFICATE OF GOOD MORAL CHARACTER.
yeah, after weeks of trying, i finally get my hands on this piece of paper. i need it for my transfer to other schools. yes, i'll be leaving the only royal, pontifical, catholic university in the philippines. but i'll be very near.
anyways, speaking of good moral character, kanina sumakay ako ng jeep and my 5php coin fell. the driver told me to pick it up but i told him that it doesn't matter. we were already moving and have advanced a significant amount of distance from where i stood before, when i heard this little girl shout 'manong nalaglag ang limang piso niyo.'
i find two things peculiar about this.
one is that i was called manong by the girl.
another is that the girl opted to run and give me back my 5php than to rather stay behind and keep the coin. sweet girl. if everybody in this country is like that.
last night i had this conversation with a person about the government and its people. at first we were just sharing our opinions on why there is poverty in the philippines. but then our conversation became a debate when he said that the government was to be blamed for this.
i am not a rightist (tama ba?), but i don't think the blame should be put into the government alone. sure, most of them are corrupt. but how about the people?
people complain about how hard life is. people complain about how the government manages its country, how the government should do this and do that. but what have you been doing?
wala. wala masyado.
why do you make 12 kids when you know that you can't afford them? tapos you complain about how hard life is.
it's like when you pray that you win the lottery, pero hindi ka naman tumaya.
we should not blame the government alone. take a look at ourselves first. di ba?
oh yeah, i told the girl to keep the 5 pesos.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006 - 2:22 PM
so where have i been?
warning. swimming around 3am in the morning, drinking a lot of alcohol, and smoking is not a very good combination.
yes, i was downed by fever. for three days i think. and i swear i will never drink any kind of liquor for at least a month or so. no smoking for me too. ugh.. just the thought makes me wana puke (that's pyook, for some of you guys).
so what have i been up to? nothing.
just fixing this skin. ugh. it is my first time to attempt making a skin with these codes. hirap! anyways, i've asked for expert help already.
back to the question of what have i been doing. well, yeah i've been bedridden. but that doesn't stop me from watching TV. yes, good old television. and i have some opinions to share too, some lang naman eh.
starting with the salty champorado of the housemates in Pinoy Big Brother.
haha. laugh. more laughs. can anyone tell me why people mix sugar and salt in one container? i don't understand.
'...then he ran into my knife... he ran into my knife TEN TIMES...'
i simply adore this movie. the acting was great. the music was impeccable. though i don't like the actor who played Fred Casely. while watching the movie i find myself singing (or mimicking singing) to the hypnotic tunes of how the girls killed their men. and yes, they had it comming alright.
i especially liked how every song was inserted into the scene. and how the songs were so good.
heck. i like it all.
dora the exlporah
kid's should not be left alone when watching this. it is really scary. dora makes the viewers do crazy stuff like 'hold the fishing rod with your hand, and pull with the other' or 'when i say duck, stay down or swiper will get us'. and what's with swiper the fox? he leaves when he is told Swiper no swiping. when you are being robbed, you don't say robber no robbing.
and besides. dora looks like my journalism prof.
sugar vs. sukar
haha. wala lng. natutuwa lang ako sa kanila. galing talaga ni bitoy.
well, yeah. i have been to exposed to the television. but who cares?
Sunday, May 07, 2006 - 10:05 PM
i have watched Oprah last friday, and the topic for that episode was teen homosexuality.
the average age of gay people coming out to their families has come down to the age of 16, which got me thinking: kelan kaya ako makakapag-out sa family ko?
i try to get something from our conversation about their views on homosexuality. and i think they are not ready for me. hay, it's sad. it makes me sad.
what's so irritating about this is that there is still the mentality of people that if their family member is gay, they become stupid or that one of their parts have been severed. parang naging imbalido.
well get here people. being gay doesn't make one stupid. it doesn't lessen your intelligence. it doesn't make you less competitive. hindi mawawala ang talents at ang abilities mo if you are gay.
but the problem is, some people really don't get that.
Friday, May 05, 2006 - 9:53 PM
'isang gamot lang ang magpapagaling sa sugat ng puso.. pagmamahal..' -yashamaru, NARUTO
i have been feeling funny lately. i don't know. maybe it's because of my new hair. it's red, and not just any red. it's BURGUNDY red.
or maybe it's because of my staying up late.. or early. i sleep at around 3am to 4am na kasi. and i wake up around 9am to 10am.
or is it because i don't do anything but sleep and watch all day.
my brother and i watched the stars last night on our rooftop, with ice cream and chips and my radio on. wala lang, we just hung-out (tama ba toh?) and talked about nothing in particular. while watching the stars and trying to decipher at least one constellation, i recieved a message.
someone told me that they liked me, that they even love me. and i was caught in confusion. i really didn't know what to say.
maybe that's why i'm feeling funny. i know i want love. pero i don't want it now. or i just don't want it from this person.
basta, i am feeling funny lately...
- 8:46 PM
ehji: NOSE hair
gabchi: PUBIC hair
ehji: ANAL hair
gabchi: BABY HAIR
ehji: Slightly receding HAIRline
gabchi: ARMPIT HAIR
ehji: MOLE hair
gabchi: FINGER HAIR
ehji: CHEST hair
gabchi: NEWLY GROWN PUBIC hair
ehji: NEWLY GROWN FACIAL hair
gabchi: NEWLY TRIMMED PUBIC hair
ehji: NEWLY SHAVEN FACIAL hair
gabchi: CURLY hair
ehji: WAIVY hair
this is how bums communicate.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006 - 9:07 PM
days of exciting boredom have turned me into a musician wannabe.
i have been doing nothing but eat my lola's halo-halo (which is STILL sweetened bananas desguising themselves as halo-halo with skillful use of sago and gulaman), watch TV till my head hurts, strum dumbly at my guitar, eat some more halo-halo, eat something else, watch over my little cousins, and sleep.
the weekends are a little better. for two consecutive saturdays i've attended two different (obviously) debuts. and from the debuts that i have attended, i have come up with a theory. the two vital neccessities for a successful debut are Lengua (cow's tongue, i guess) and bubbles.
so there, back to me strumming dumbly at the guitar. yes, i have been strumming alright. and i think i have again imagined that i am a songwriter and have composed another song.
nobody is allowed to laugh out loud. :p
lyrics by: ehji
music by: ehji (still, hehe)
i remember the night, it was bright
full of stars
and their light, they shimmer
in my face
and my gaze, was in haze
i've been crying
and my hands, they were drenched
by my tears
caused by your smile of goodbye
and that night, i was shattered
by a whisper
so soft that it hurts
and my veins, they contain
fell me to sleep with your song
wrap your arms around me
like you did before
tell me you love me one last time
then you can sing me your goodbye..
i am to blame
for your sorrow, by your pain
i've made a mistake
and i listen to your
bridge (or whatever this is called):
put me to sleep
let my heart weep tonight
put me to sleep
and i will never wake up
so there. :p