BLOG
Monday, October 03, 2005 - 11:37 PM
'labis na naiinip... nayayamot.. sa bawat saglit..'
yet another heartache...
a few hours from now... monthsary na dpat nmin...
i thought i would be happy for once... i was happy when i was with him.. he is the only person i have truly cared for. i just want to know why it must end like this...
mahal ko siya... i am not afraid to tell it to the world... hanggang ngayon mahal ko parin cya.. bakit kasi ganun pa ang nangyari? why couldn't they understand us?
i didn't want to break up... but we had no choice.. his parents kept him as far away from me as possible...
'umuwi ka na baby.. di na ako sanay nang wala ka.. mahirap nang mag-isa..
at sa gabi'y hinahanap-hanap kita...'
now i have no shoulder to cry on... now that he is gone, i am afraid i will not be able to trust anyone else again... now that he is out of my life... i don't think i would ever be happy...
i will miss the times we've spent together... yung tinulungan nya ako sa ginagawa kong documentary... yung tinuturuan ko iyang mag-flute... yung nagbilad kami sa ilalim ng araw para lng sa interview... yung nasa mcdo kami... yung pinakilala ko siya sa friends ko.. yung nasa bahay namin siya...
he is the only peron na pinakilala ko sa friends ko as my boyfiend. siya lng...
i didn't cry when i got his message... akala ko hindi ako naiiyak... but now that i am alone.. that i have known the truth... i regret that i didn't cry...
'hanggang kailan ako maghihintay na makasama kang muli sa buhay kong puno ng paghihirap..'
dito ko ngayon sa copmuter shop.. di ako pedeng umiyak.. katext ko siya ulit.. after a long time of no communication...
~'hum, hanggang dito nalang siguro tayo... ang hirap na kasi eh.. pnapunta ko ni papa sa n.ecija.. for the last 3 day dito ko..'
~'pinagppray ko nlang na maintindihan nila mama at papa... pero hum, bblik ako para mgkita yo ulit... bsta mahal na mahal kita... bigay ko na kay papa tong phone... 52545. :c'
52545. sa kanya ko lng narinig toh... 52545. mahihirapan akong makaliutan na minsan mei nagsabi sakin nito.. na minsan naramdaman ko rin toh para sa kanya...
i miss him so much. i would do anything for us to see each other.. even for the last time...
i long to be with him forever... pero i am starting to believe that forever doesn't exist.. his touch.. his soul.. his heart... i once have felt them...
i do not know how i would move on.. i have my friends.. i thank them for being here for me...
but still... how many more scars and bruises must i have to take?
i do not trust love anymore... will i ever trust it again?
ehjiboi got weird at 11:37 PM
-