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Tuesday, September 06, 2005 - 3:15 PM
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my world was shattered as i put the phone down. i have lost him. it was over.
i didn't know what to do. i wanted to cry, but it seems that i have forgotten how to cry. i have promised myself that i will not cry again.. never again. but now i cry without tears... which is much more painful.
i went back to our classroom. the professor was still babbling with his so-called lectures. before i went out of the room, i was lying on my desk, feeling sleepy and wanting to get the hell out. i was relieved that i had a call from him. but now that i have retruned, i wish i didn't have that call.. now i am back at my desk, lying, wanting to cry but couldn't...
'gab, are you okay?'
somebody have noticed. i didn't give my answer, i was not in the mood to put my mask on and feign beatitude.
moments passed, i was still in my silent chair. the class was starting to leave...
'oi, okay ka lang ba?'
i looked up, it was my friend. i was trying to keep a straight face... time to put my mask on and pretend that everything's fine... but as i put my mask on, it broke into many pieces.. like mirror shattered purposefully. i looked at the pieces of glass lying aroung me... tears came from my eyes, no longer dry. i cried, i cried hard.
people started to come up around me... asking if i were okay... telling me that everything would be just fine. but everything is not fine.. everything is a mess. i'm a mess.
'salamat sa lahat... sige, hanggang dito nalang..'
last words... his last words. it was my fault. i deserve this, i deserve to be lonely.
i picked up the broken pieces of glass, and as i put it in my hands blood comes trickling down..
tomorrow, i would be a different me...
ehjiboi got weird at 3:15 PM
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