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Sunday, August 07, 2005 - 5:33 PM
the thing with keeping secrets is... you can't keep them.
last night, as i was listening unconsciously to the pitter-patting of the rain, two of my bestest friends arrived: eikei( he's a he) and ems (she's a she, believe it or not). wah! kala ko ba sa wednesday pa sila pupunta? hehe.. i should have expected them to be like this... palagi naman silang dagliang dumadating..
anyways, the reason they came is because of the thing that i've said to kim.. that i'll be telling them something.. i'll be telling them one of my secrets..
laughter. it has a tendency to lighten things up a bit.. i laugh. but i must tell it to them, even if the timing was not of that of the plan. i was nervous.. a lot of 'what ifs' came into my mind.. what if they don't understand? what if this ends our friendship?
but i've got to tell them..
i didn't know how.. the two of them were silent.. anticipating.. waiting for my words.. but i couldn't say it! i thought it would be easy, because a lot of people already know.. but these two people were different.. mas mahirap pala pag 'close' mo yung tao..
finally, ems suggested that i write it nalang.. so i wrote the eight letter word.. hesitated to let them see it... but finally got enough guts to show them..
shocked.
they were shocked... well, ems was shocked. ankonim kinda got the idea even before i wrote the word. but the important thing is, they understood. i was happy, i couldn't explain it in words!
the feeling of finally telling them was great. now that my bestfriends know, i am ready to let everybody else know. hopefully, they'll understand.. but if they don't, then it will be sad...
i do not want my friends to feel pity for me. i do not need pity. what i need is an open mind and a heart that understand.
soon, everybody will know..
soon, everbody will have to decide..
i am not sure that everybody will stay.
ehjiboi got weird at 5:33 PM
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