'If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work: Hello. Can't work today, still queer.'

beat that.

i have had, in my two week history of being a customer service representative, my WORST day of taking calls this morning.

i have dealt with variable rates of stupidity, often times with a splash of anger and irritation. i hate it. even chocolate didn't cheer me up. i am frustrated. at kamusta naman ang last two calls ko na mannual authorizations, with both cardholder and merchant on line. to the people who understand call center jargon, you know what i mean. bulldung.

anyways, i'll tell you something about friday. i mean, last friday.

alright. i went out with friends last friday at timog (Deep). and i planned to party all-out, since i never had courage to do so.

so there we were, drinking vodka mixes while waiting for the party to start. soon the dancefloor was crowded and i went in to dance.

THE DANCE

i NEVER thought i could do this, but i danced with a guy and a girl at the same time. call me innocent but this is something new to me. so it was me, girl, then guy.

okay, so we danced on the circle thingy that they put up so we were raised and everyone could see. i was sweating and everything, but i thought what the heck i'm having fun. i never remembered the girls name though.

and when i finally got tired i went down and rested on the table. then i saw this guy who was dancing real cute. so i looked, and to my surprise he looked back-smiling. backtrack, i never tried looking back at people when i see them looking at me. i get shy. Andy always told me to try looking back for once. so now i did try to smile back. *grin*

he danced near me and i was moving my head with the beat and when i was actually going to try to come up to him and dance, one of my friends pulled me away. dang! missed connection pare.

anyway, since my connection was lost i sat down to drink a cuppa. and then i noticed that one of my friends is missing. i went to look for him and found him sitting alone in the room with a lot of pillows (i do not know what they call it). he looked devastated so i sat beside him to try to talk. and apparantly, as i have assumed, my friend has the love aches.

you see, this is the reason why i said no boyfriends till 20. my friend here has been struck dumb by love. i understand how this might happen (yeah, the experience blah). i don't know if being indifferent to love is a good thing, but this is how i am now.

i tried to drill in some sense into my friend. i told him that he deserves a lot better than being another option on another guys list. i told him that he must take care of himself first. i told him how good he was and how happy he was before he met the guy. i told him that he could always live without the guy, since he was doing it before they met. but i might have talked to a cat for all the better, because my friend wasn't listening. but i tried to soothe him, i know how painful it is. heart aches. tsk.

and as Valentine's Day looms, i leave you with something from Pablo Neruda, one guy who's a big inspiration to how i write.

Love

Because of you, in gardens of blossoming
Flowers I ache from the perfumes of spring.
I have forgotten your face, I no longer
Remember your hands; how did your lips
Feel on mine?.

Because of you, I love the white statues
Drowsing in the parks, the white statues that
Have neither voice nor sight.

I have forgotten your voice, your happy voice;
I have forgotten your eyes.

Like a flower to its perfume, I am bound to
My vague memory of you. I live with pain
That is like a wound; if you touch me, you will
Make to me an irreperable harm.

Your caresses enfold me, like climbing
Vines on melancholy walls.

I have forgotten your love, yet I seem to
Glimpse you in every window.

Because of you, the heady perfumes of
Summer pain me; because of you, I again
Seek out the signs that precipitate desires:
Shooting stars, falling objects.

P.S.

i had my brow pierced. i'll let you see soon. ü