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Sunday, January 08, 2006 - 7:18 PM
'loving him was one things i was afraid of..
and i was right, it hurts ..
but i thank him anyway..
i learned to let go..
he taught me how to let go..
he taught me what love really is..
and now i think..
it was never him.'
last night, i went partying with new people.
malate was not quite the same, maybe because i've been away fro the place for so long.. or maybe it's because i went there with a whole new crowd.
anyway, i met new friends there: jhey and chris. we got to hang out a lot last night, especially with jhey.
-jhey, hmm.. actually he's a really good guy. he's really kind and could really bring out topics without forcing it. he's very boyfriend-ish (hekhek.. even considered being his) but one thing hindered the idea: we became friends-
okay, back to the subject. there we were in malate, people were dancing (and in my case, sitting) the night away. jhey and i were having a conversation about a guy he likes. well, i happen to know more about this guy, and i think jhey would be better off without him.
but, as always, the heart overpowered the brain. he tried the risk (and oh, what a big risk it was). i said that he should brace himself for the worst. to myself, i was thinking that their relationship would last for at least a week.
we went back to the bar and behold: the guy was kissing someone else.
my premoniton came in 7 days earlier. the 'relationship' didn't even last for a day. jhey was really upset. he went out (i followed). i knew this would happen, but not this soon. i was holding back a strong urge to say 'i told you so'. we went somewhere away from them (and somewhere near the trash bin, unfortunately) and there, he wept.
i stayed with him because i know the feeling of being cheated on. and it really is NOT a good feeling. i wanted to do something, but i couldn't find anything else to do but let him cry on me.
uggh.. love makes people so stupid.
that is why i have become quite numb to the feeling. i maybe depriving myself of a great thing, which is to love. but i would rather not get hurt while being in love. it's both sad but logical.
after this, we went back to the bar. i told him that he should not think about what happened too much and enjoy the night. and so he did. he left for some, uhm.. purpose.
the rest of us stayed at the bar. they were dancing (and doing some other things you could only do at the biology bar). i was, yes, sitting.
we went to baywalk at four where jhey rejoined us. we talked more and then we left.
stupid people in love..
there's no life in love, so there's no such thing as 'lovelife'.
ehjiboi got weird at 7:18 PM
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