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Tuesday, October 18, 2005 - 8:01 PM
Tech Support: Yes, ... how can I help you?
Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've
decided to
install Love. Can you guide me though the
process?
Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready
to proceed?
Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think
I'm ready.
What do I do first?
Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart.
Have you located
your Heart?
Customer: Yes, but there are several other
programs running
now. Is it okay to install Love while they are
running?
Tech Support: What programs are running ?
Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-
Esteem, Grudge
and Resentment running right now.
Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually
erase Past Hurt from
your current operating system. It may remain in
your permanent memory
but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love
will eventually
override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own
called High
Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn
off Grudge and
Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from
being properly installed.
Can you turn those off ?
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can
you tell me how?
Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start
menu and invoke
Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary
until Grudge and
Resentment have been completely erased.
Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing
itself. Is
that normal?
Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have
only the base program.
You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in
order to get the
upgrades.
Customer: Oops! I have an error message already.
It says,
"Error - Program not run on external components."
What should I do?
Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love
program is set up
to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run
on your Heart. In
non-technical terms, it simply means you have to
Love yourself before
you can Love others.
Customer: So, what should I do?
Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then
click on the following
files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and
Acknowledge your
Limitations.
Customer: Okay, done.
Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart"
directory. The system
will overwrite any conflicting files and begin
patching faulty
programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose
Self-Criticism from all
directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make
sure it is completely
gone and never comes back.
Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with
new files.
Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and
Contentment are copying
themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?
Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes
awhile, but eventually
everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is
installed and
running. One more thing before we hang up. Love
is
Freeware. Be sure
to give it and its various modules to everyone you
meet. They will in
turn share it with others and return some cool
modules back to you.
Customer: Thank you, God.
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Tuesday, October 04, 2005 - 7:20 PM
pede mamatay nalang ako?
shortly after i have posted my latest entry.. the computer shop that i was in was held-up. four men took whatever they could (including my phone and my money). two of them were carrying guns. while the other two were with knives.
they locked us up inside the shop. we couldn't come out... they had to shout for help. i, on the other hand, remained in silent contemplation. my phone? why did they have to take my phone? i feel that i have died because i do not have my phone any longer.
i am so not the luckiest guy on earth.
i decided not to attend school today. first of all, i was needed in the police department for my statement. second is that i think i need time to work out my problem with love..
i watched 'My Sassy Girl' and 'Windstruck' today. it was a wrong move, for it only brought back the memories that WE've shared together. i cried yet again. haha.. imagine. a 5'11, extremely jolly college student crying while the background music of windstruck was playing... but i can't help it. i didn't cry the day i knew that we were finished.. siguro all my tears catched up on me... i cried a lot.
now i will still cry whenever a song that reminded me of him plays... i was disheartened when my phone was taken away from me.. my last memory of his voice was within that phone.. his message. his song. i will not be able to hear them again.
but my heart will never forget them.
i know that i could not go on like this.. i have to move on... i will, eventually.. but for now, let me weep and wallow over a dream that i once thought would turn into reality...
let me live the reality that he has gone... let me live...
p.s.
it is our monthsary today... dapat..
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Monday, October 03, 2005 - 11:37 PM
'labis na naiinip... nayayamot.. sa bawat saglit..'
yet another heartache...
a few hours from now... monthsary na dpat nmin...
i thought i would be happy for once... i was happy when i was with him.. he is the only person i have truly cared for. i just want to know why it must end like this...
mahal ko siya... i am not afraid to tell it to the world... hanggang ngayon mahal ko parin cya.. bakit kasi ganun pa ang nangyari? why couldn't they understand us?
i didn't want to break up... but we had no choice.. his parents kept him as far away from me as possible...
'umuwi ka na baby.. di na ako sanay nang wala ka.. mahirap nang mag-isa..
at sa gabi'y hinahanap-hanap kita...'
now i have no shoulder to cry on... now that he is gone, i am afraid i will not be able to trust anyone else again... now that he is out of my life... i don't think i would ever be happy...
i will miss the times we've spent together... yung tinulungan nya ako sa ginagawa kong documentary... yung tinuturuan ko iyang mag-flute... yung nagbilad kami sa ilalim ng araw para lng sa interview... yung nasa mcdo kami... yung pinakilala ko siya sa friends ko.. yung nasa bahay namin siya...
he is the only peron na pinakilala ko sa friends ko as my boyfiend. siya lng...
i didn't cry when i got his message... akala ko hindi ako naiiyak... but now that i am alone.. that i have known the truth... i regret that i didn't cry...
'hanggang kailan ako maghihintay na makasama kang muli sa buhay kong puno ng paghihirap..'
dito ko ngayon sa copmuter shop.. di ako pedeng umiyak.. katext ko siya ulit.. after a long time of no communication...
~'hum, hanggang dito nalang siguro tayo... ang hirap na kasi eh.. pnapunta ko ni papa sa n.ecija.. for the last 3 day dito ko..'
~'pinagppray ko nlang na maintindihan nila mama at papa... pero hum, bblik ako para mgkita yo ulit... bsta mahal na mahal kita... bigay ko na kay papa tong phone... 52545. :c'
52545. sa kanya ko lng narinig toh... 52545. mahihirapan akong makaliutan na minsan mei nagsabi sakin nito.. na minsan naramdaman ko rin toh para sa kanya...
i miss him so much. i would do anything for us to see each other.. even for the last time...
i long to be with him forever... pero i am starting to believe that forever doesn't exist.. his touch.. his soul.. his heart... i once have felt them...
i do not know how i would move on.. i have my friends.. i thank them for being here for me...
but still... how many more scars and bruises must i have to take?
i do not trust love anymore... will i ever trust it again?
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