finding reality...

nagkalat ako sa la salle

2010-02-20T11:53:00.000-08:00

kahapon, may diarrhea ako nung umaga.

it was la salle's fair yesterday. i was exited kasi it'll be the first time i'll go in the campus ng legal. we got on our way early, and we arrived in taft at around 11am-ish.

now, just to backtrack, the night before this we ate burger. the buy-one-take-one kind. naalala ko sinasabi pa nung mga bumili na nakakadiri yung kuko ni manong burger person. ako naman si 'ok lang, masarap naman e.'

so yun nga, and ending ko diarrhea in the morning. nag number 2 bago kami umalis. at dahil ako ang tipo ng tao na naniniwalang isang (loperamide) diatabs lang ok na, umalis kami ng bahay na magaan ang loob.

akala ko lang pala yun.

dumating kami ng mcdo taft at kumain. tapos joe met his friends/group mates for some school work. dun na nag-act up yung tiyan ko.

i can say, in my lifetime, never pa akong tumae anywhere but sa bahay. not necessarily sa bahay ko. may mga piling bahay ng mga kaibigan na nana-number 2-han ko. pero palaging sa bahay. kaya nung naramdaman kong kumakalam ang tiyan ko, di ko na alam gagawin.

i wanted to just go to the nearest hotel, rent a room and shit there. para private. pero di ko kinaya. so i had to number 2 sa pinaka-paborito kong kapehan: starbucks.

yun ang pinaka-una kong pagtae sa public place. at napaka-swerte ko nga naman na ang pangalawang pag-tae ko sa public place happened the same day. saan? sa loob ng la salle.

nagkalat ako sa la salle. literal.

ok lang, at least i ain't a virgin to number 2-ing sa public places na.

after i took a dump sa la salle, umayos na ang takbo ng araw.

di man ako nakapag-bungee thingy in fear of shitting accidentally, i was able to sit-in naman sa class nila joe. i even took down notes, para maganda tignan sa planner. i was able to roam around the campus not feeling guilty for once. nakakain din ako ng cheap frozen yogurt, and it ain't bad. fine, fan boy na, but i was able to meet and take a picture with one of my fave volleyball players, cha cruz.

after la salle, pumunta kami kina sam for karaoke and poker. i actually won 50php sa poker game. another first for me.

at sinabi ko nga kahapon. 'this day will go down my blogsite.' and despite the rough (or rather smooth) start, yesterday was one of the best.

One grande iced white chocolate mocha for you!

2010-02-12T11:02:00.000-08:00

yesterday on my way to taft, Starbucks texted me about my application for a barista position. i was excited. matagal ko ng pinasa online yung resume ko sa kanila and i was losing hope na. plus, matagal ko na ding dream ang sumigaw ng "One grande iced white chocolate mocha for you!'

so kahit wala akong damit for the interview (business attire) at kahit wala akong dalang updated resume, sinabi ko sa sarili ko pupunta ako sa interview. kahit 8am pa yan. mnghihiram nalang ako ng damit.

i told my boyfriend and my friends about it, and they were pretty confident that i'll get in. to tell you honestly, i was pretty confident that i'll get in. i mean, sige mayabang na kung mayabang pero i've been on a successful streak. i got hired by JP Morgan Chase last year, tapos nung nag entrance exam ako sa la salle antipolo i passed with flying colors. confidence pare, confidence.

kagagaling ko lang sa interview ngayon. i was asked to fill out a form and then wait with 6 other people for the interview. first group interview ko, but still, i was confident.

the interviewer went in and asked each of us to stand when called and tell something about ourselves. i was called first, and after the usual stuff na sasabihin mo sa isang interview, he asked me one question. yun na yun, isang question lang.

i was pretty sure that i answered well naman. mukhang di naman ganun kapangit grammar ko.

natapos ang interview. we were asked to wait for a letter stating the result of the interview. usap-usap kaming mga applicants. tapos yun na, dumating na siya.

i was expecting a letter saying i got in, but to my horror, i didn't. ok sige, medyo exaggeration yung horror, but i was a shocked.

di ko talaga ineexpext na di matanggap. and out of the 6 other people na kasama ko, isa lang ang nakapasa.

ho em gee. it's my first failure in a very, very long time. para akong nabuhusan ng malamig na tubig. nanliit balls ko. i thought i could do pretty much anything i put my mind to.

inisip ko baka inisip nila na i don't need the job naman. that i am able to get a higher paying job.

pero baka i didn't put my mind into it. baka i got too confident, tapos nakalimutan ko na pwede nga akong magkamali. na dapat iniisip ko parin mga sinasabi at ginagawa ko.

lesson learned: DO NOT BE TOO CONFIDENT!

keep in mind na kahit madami ka ng nagawa sa buhay mo, madami ka pading hindi alam.

so here i am, blog inspired because of coffee na dapat magpapa-energize sakin. at least nakapag-blog ako ulit.

oh well, better luck next time ehjiboy.

i think i shall have a grande white chocolate mocha later. for a venti life lesson learned the hard way.

bummer

2010-02-06T19:28:00.000-08:00

so it has been a while (yeah right, understatement of the year) since i last posted something on this blog.

i mean, man, facebook really did kill my blogging. it's horrible. i don't even know if i can still call myself a blogger, or a writer even. whenever i get a good idea and start weaving together words to express the idea, my mind goes @!@##$@# because of facebook. nagiging facebook status yung dapat blog entry. but i shall try my bestest to go back to writing. for my sanity's sake.

now, about what i am writing about.

my dad pm-ed me through facebook just a while ago. he was asking me to man our shop tomorrow. i said yes. it's quite normal for me to go to the shop on mondays. the strange part is all of a sudden, he asked me to remove his girlfriend from our (my siblings and i) account sa facebook.

ok, i know. that's weird in many different levels. but it just caught me off guard.

i have long ago accepted the fact that my father is living with a younger woman. i have also accepted the fact that he will never live with us again. in the same house, i mean. and about a little over a year ago, i have accepted the fact that i have another brother born from their (dad and girlfriend's) seemingly healthy, unmarried relationship.

tapos biglang ganito?

i am 22 years old, have 5 siblings (one just turned a year old a few months go), and am trying desperately to reach whatever dreams i have left. i think i can say i am having it hard here. i am too tired to go through this father and pseudo-mother break up thing again. am too tired and too old. and i think my father's too old for this thing too. i mean, he should get a grip. dammit.

so anyway, with all that said, i will still tell my brother and sister to remove my dad's girlfriend from facebook. he's still my dad.

screw it.

have a nice day people.

of shooting stars and green tea

2009-12-15T12:36:00.000-08:00

yesterday, i manned our computer shop. my dad usually mans the shop, wala kasi kaming mahanap na trustworthy na bantay. but yesterday my dad had to go somewhere to buy something and he asked me to do the work. so i said yes, kasi wala naman akong magagawa about it.

anyway, wala naman masyadong kinalaman yun sa sasabihin ko sa inyo. intro palang yun. hehe.

there i was, sitting patiently by the main computer, thinking about how i'd love to eat some ice cream and oreos and pancakes when my friend An Konim (a.k.a. baby boy) texted me that our other friends Cai Dumandal and Sarah Lacanienta wanted to have a tea party. LOL. tea party daw. haha.

before, when the four of us meet, we drink The Bar while playing card games. The Bar with iced tea. The Bar with soda. then we thought we ought to change our ways and drink less kaya kape naman tinira namin. kapeng barako and hazelnut coffee. this went on for a long time.

siguro naisip nila masama parin sa katawan ang kape kaya they want to drink tea instead. ok lang naman sakin. pauwi na din naman ako. and i thought to myself i won't stay for long, just in case my dad wants me to man the shop again.

i closed the shop just before it hit 12am. i went home to get a jacket (it was coooold outside) and am off to meet my friend.

nung una parang nung dati lang, except we're having tea. naisip namin tumatanda na nga kami. ano kaya titirahin namin by next year, nganga? anyway, we were playing cards when baby boy saw something in the sky. shooting star daw. sabi namin, ulol. guniguni mo lang yun.

pero dahil baby boy nga sya, di parin napigilan at lumabas para tumingin sa stars. and what do you know, may shooting star nga daw. shooting stars. mukhang may meteor shower daw.

dali-dali kaming lumabas nila cai at sarah to watch. we waited for a while, laughing and making fun of each other. and there it was, like an invisible giant pen slashed its luminescent ink in the sky, a shooting star.

manghang-mangha na ko sa isang shooting star. pero shortly after the first (and as it turned out, the brightest) one, may mga sumunod pa. we were mesmerized.

kumuha na ng banig si baby boy so we could all lie down and just watch. we watched till we had our fill. we went back to the nipa hut quite elated. we just witnessed a meteor shower. and even if my wishes don't come true (oh but i do hope they do), it was still magical.

we played a few more games and i lost a little here and there. and if i were to man the shop the following day (and yes, i am manning the shop today), kahit wala ako masyadong tulog, ok lang.

nakakita naman ako ng shooting stars.

PETITION

2009-12-01T12:06:00.000-08:00

after a very long time, we received word from my mum.

now, to give you an idea why this is a ig deal, let me tell you a short story about my family.

my parents have been separated for around 10 years now. my dad lives with someone else now, somewhere in angono. at least nagkikita kami once in a while. i now have 5 siblings, 2 girls and a baby boy.

i don't know what happened to my mum. last time i saw her, high school pa ko nun.

i live with my lola.

but that doesn't really matter. i don't care about my mum anymore. you might think that's a very mean thing to say, but i have my reasons like her drug abuse and all that.

anyway, this morning we received a summons from her. well, actually, para sa dad ko yun. she's petitioning that their marriage be annulled.

ok lang naman sakin eh. as in, ok lang. kaso may mga nakalagay sa petition nya na maling information.

item number 4 on her petition says, "That as a result of their love, affection and mariage together, they were blessed wth three children namely. ANGELO GABRIEL CARAON (me), ANTHONY FRANCIS CARAON and AILEEN CARAON, who are now all of legal ages and married but their residences and whereabouts are unknown and can no longer be located;

in item number 5, "...her husband Reynaldo B. Caraon...left and abandoned the former (mum) in 1997;

this clearly shows na walang kamalay-malay i mum about us, her kids. ok, francis and i are of legal age, but we are not married yet. aileen is 14. siyempre di pa siya kasal. i mean, we don't want her money and all. but this is blatantly telling us that she doesn't care about us at all. and hello, this petition went to our house, di niya kami ma-locate?

and please, my dad did not just leave her. ang pagkakatanda ko, she left. but if my dad was the one who left, well , madaming mga dahilan talaga na makakapag-provoke nun. isa dun yung pagpapa-rehab namin sa kanya. twice. di gumana. isa palang yun.

i have to admit, i was a little surprised. i didn't think my mum had the wits to do something like this. oh well.

may my parents live a happy, annulled life soon.

soul mate

2009-11-09T17:41:00.000-08:00

i was watching sex and the city a while ago, and they were talking about sex and soul mates. since i am a wholesome person, sa soul mates napunta attention ko.

sabi sa http://dictionary.reference.com ang soul mate ay: One of two persons compatible with each other in disposition, point of view, or sensitivity.

one of two. so our society(or at least the dictionary) tells us that there is only 1 soul mate for a person. fine, may isa. ok na yun. ang problema kasi, 6.796 billion ang tao sa buong mundo. minus one, kasi ikaw yun. pano yun? eh sa pilipinas palang 91,983,000(trueknowledge.com) katao na ang nakatira. and we are expeted to find that one person. good luck talaga.

when we reach a certain age, we start to look for that soul mate. depende yan sa tao. minsan maaga naghahanap, minsan uber late na. pero the one goal is to look for that perfect someone that will complete you. we look for them in many different ways. meron pumaparty, may naghahanap sa work, may nagpapaset-up sa friend, speed dating, online, at marami pang iba.

sa isang part ng episode na napanuod ko, sabi ni charlotte pwede naman na silang magkakaibigan ang magso-soul mates. napatango nalang ako.

wag natin pahirapan ang sarili natin. baka sa kakahanap nyo ng soul mate, sa isang perpektong entity na yan, may lumagpas na na taong hindi man perketo, pero handa namang tumanggap sa kung ano ka man.

soul mate• One of two persons compatible with each other in disposition, point of view, or sensitivity (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/)

sa aking dictionary, soul mates are the many people close to you who make life a lot more fun and easier.

Eto Lang ni gab caraon

2009-10-16T11:42:00.000-07:00

eto na naman ako
isang bato
isang batong nakahimlay sa dalampasigan
laging nakatingin sa lawak ng dagat
laging nangangarap na balang araw ay marating din
ang mga narating niya
laging umaasang balang araw ay dalhin ako ng alon
sa ibang lugar
at sumabay sa sayaw ng pag-agos ng buhay
eto na naman ako, nangangarap.
pero eto nga ako. isang bato.
mabigat. matigas. hindi makagalaw.
at hindi tulad ng dagat na madaming nagagawa,
ako na isang bato ay hindi man lang kayang lumuha.

disaster

2009-10-05T08:29:00.000-07:00

just recently, typhoon Ondoy hit the Philippines and brought chaos all over the country. rizal is one of the places where the storm did the most damage.

i'm from rizal.

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so i was sleeping soundly on my bed. ginising ako ng boses ng kapatid ko. eh hindi pumapasok usually mga tao sa kwarto ko kasi baka mabangasan ko sila. to my surprise (oh yes, what a surprise) pinapaligiran na ako ng tubig baha. hindi binabaha bahay namin, kahit sa labas. tas ngayon ayan, pinasok na kwarto ko. ah, oo nga pala. yung kama ko pala nasa lapag lang. gaddemet.

tumayo ako agad sa kama ko, very thankful that i didn't leave my phone on the floor, and ~~walked~~ waded my way out of the room. hanggang ankles ko na yung tubig by then.

sa labas nakakumpol mga tao sa bahay ko. umupo nalang kami sa may set nang walang magawa. naiakyat naman namin yung mga ibang appliances tulad ng computer. pero wala na kaming magawa about the fridge. madami ding nasirang mga damit at sapatos.

sa labas, nag ala rio grande yung agos ng baha. mukhang hanggang sa crotch ko na nga e. di ko nalang triny for very obvious reasons.

matagal kami sa labas. matagal naming hinintay na bumaba yung tubig. awa ng diyos, by the end of the day, halos wala ng baha sa bahay namin. we started to salvage things na pwede pa naming pakinabangan.

---------------------------------------

mukhang ang lala no? pero wala pa yan sa dinanas ng iba. meron dyan lumubog ang BUONG bahay sa baha. walang naisalba kundi ang mga sarili nila. even my dad's house went under water. they were able to save the TV, but everything else, wala na. major repairs ang kailangan para dito. and the the thing is, i need to help my dad and his family. ang sama ko namang anak kung hindi. but i need to sacrifice things para dito. masakit...

oh well. ho-hum. buti nalang buhay pa pamilya ko. yung iba... alam nyo na.

grabe no? kasabay ng pag-agos ng ulan ay ang pagbuhos ng luha ng mga taong nasalanta. kasama ng mga gamit na nadala ng baha ay ang mga pangarap at mga planong di na matutupad. nakakagulat. nakakalunkot.

ang kaya nalang nating gawin ay magtulungan. magtulungan at umasa.

satisfaction - repost from atlastihavea.multiply.com

2009-05-03T23:46:00.001-07:00

so here i am again, stuck in Mendiola, waiting for the offices to finish their lunch. gotta get that ferkin transcript sa San Beda.

dahil wala akong magawa, ako ay magsusulat. bow.

i have two things to write about today. so let's start with....

satisfaction.

on my way to the train station, i heard this radio show sa bus. i don't know the station, but i remember particularly the name of the host. parang tunog balahura at balasubas eh. yun nga, they were laughing a lot, na medyo nakakairita kasi i just got out of a rather unfriendly meeting. amidts the chaos of their uber loub voices, may point na na-curious ako. so i listened malamang.

they were talking about why people in a relationship cheat. sabi nila, satisfaction daw ang sagot.

the woman host said that people in a relationship should keep their partners satisfied in all aspects. yes, tama. i had to agree sabi ko sa utak ko. kasi nga naman kung hindi satisfied, maghahanap ng makaka-satisfy. di lang sa relationship. pati sa ibang aspeto ng buhay natin, tulad ng trabaho at connection speed ng internet.

pero ang maganda, sa relationship, may pangontra sa pagiging unsatisfied. kung baga ung pipigil sa paghihiwalay kung bigla ka nalang magsawa o bigla siyang magsawa.

faith. :)

ok, i forgot the second thing na gustong-gusto kong ikwento. till here nalang muna.

choochoochoochoochooooooo

2009-02-04T12:39:00.000-08:00

ok. i got a cute little puppy. :) his name is Chase. lola ko nagpangalan. i work for JP Morgan Chase kasi. eh muntik nang JP ang ipangalan ni lola, so sinuggest ko na Chase nalang, para ok naman. ksi kung JP ipapangalan sa kanya itatanong pa kung ano ibig sabihin nun, eh wala naman talagang ibig sabihin. lol. so bale, parang ako na din nagpangalan. haha. labo.

he's 2months old na daw. half labrador, half cocker spaniel. pero isang buong kinda brown ball of kakulitan.

i like. ü

Send To Phone

Yo mamas so fat she sat on a rainbow and it made skittles

2009-01-24T10:46:00.000-08:00

haha. walang magawa sa office kanina.

---------------------------------

Yo mama so poor, she chases the garbage truck with a grocery list.

Yo mama so fat, she makes free willy look like a tic-tac.

Yo mama so fat, when god said, "Let there be light!" she had to move over.

Yo mama so hairy whenever she pulls her pants down they play "welcome to the jungle".

Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, No Professionals."

Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!

Yo momma so fat she fell in love...and broke it.

Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says, "To be continued."

Yo momma so fat she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the new world.

Yo momma so fat that her senior pictures had to be aerial views!

Yo momma so dark she went to night school and was marked absent!

---------------------------------

more on www.buzzle.com

rant

2009-01-18T11:50:00.000-08:00

at school. at work. in love and in life.

sometimes we just feel we're not enough.

and it's our choice kung magpapaka-depress tayo or we'll shrug it off and go on with life.

quarantine

2008-12-23T03:45:00.000-08:00

amp.

what a freaky movie. grubeh. homaygawd.

sakit sa ulo. freakeeeeeeesh. waaaaah.

watch it. don't watch it.

*shivers*

don't move. i'll shout. really. shhh.

nakakahiya na

2008-11-29T11:24:00.000-08:00

iiyak habang nagcocomputer.

habang kumakain sa chowking.

habang nagtratrabaho.

habang nasa fx.

habang mag-isa.

ang hirap. sobra.

you're terminal

2008-11-23T12:30:00.000-08:00

'i think you're OK.'

sabi ng kano sakin habang naglalakad kami palabas. 'what do you mean ok?'

'i mean you're OK to go. you're on terminal leave.'

terminal leave? anong sinasabi nito? nakatingin ako sa exit ng office, nalulunkot at naiinis kung bakit bigla akong tatanggalin. maganda naman stats ko. everything looks quite good at work. kailangan kong malaman kung ano'ng nagyayari.

'excuse me, sir. but why am i suddenly put on terminal leave?'

'you have terminal cancer.'

then boom. all of me shut down. he went on explaining something about bones and oxygen and how soon i am going to die. but i was there, tulala. a lot of other things happened at the same time. ang bilis ng takbo ng utak ko. nirarationalize ko agad kung bakit mamamatay na ko. at some point dumating yung inaaccept ko na yung fact na i'm gonna die pretty soon. tas naisip ko siya. kung pano ko sasabihin sa kanya. tas sunod-sunod pumasok sa isip ko yung mga plano namin na hindi na matutuloy. naisip ko din mga taong malapit sakin. masakit pala.

di ko pa kaya. ayoko pang mamatay. ayokong mamatay ng maaga. umiyak ako.

nagising ako ng umiiyak.

pota. buti nalang panaginip.

drivin

2008-11-01T22:05:00.000-07:00

yeah. kanina i went driving. with my dad.

pft. boring, lemme tell you that. we went running around the village for i don't know how long before we went out to the main road. di man lang ako umabot sa cainta.

but i guess that's how it really starts, your father worried as hell, thinking that you'd crash into a tree or run over a stray chicken. i didn't. yet. lol.

heniway, i'll go driving again tomorrow. i hope. and maybe i'll reach antipolo. but i ain't getting my hopes high. :)

enjoy the rest of your weekend. ü

vroom vroom

2008-10-30T15:03:00.000-07:00

ayun. pagod ako. ilang oras palang ang tulog ko sa span ng 2 araw.

pano kasi, kahapon pumunta ako ng LTO para ayusin lisensya ko. akala ko mga 12nn makakauwi na ko. NOOO!! maling-mali ang akala ko.

malas
sobrang kamalasan. nawala ko panyo ko. ang init. naka-formal attire ako galing kasing work. 2k nagastos ko, excluding pamasahe, softdrink at bubblegum expenses. speaking of bubblegum, naka-upo ako sa chair na may bubblegum. kung sino man naglagay dun non, ikamamatay mo yang bubblegum na yan.

nakauwi naman ako. mga 5:30pm. tulog agad. gising ng 7pm. pagod. pero at least, wala ng dahilan tatay ko na hindi ako ipagdrayb ng kotse. bawi lang. :)

eto, gising parin. pero matutulog na. :)

PS
mamaya, kelangan naka-costume sa work. costume ko? Emo. Ü

the strangers (a review of)

2008-10-17T14:45:00.000-07:00

waaaaahhh!!!!

....

that's it. :)

fast forward

2008-10-10T15:45:00.000-07:00

ok. so i haven't been writing bout me for quite a while now. pft. i've been busy with work eh.

yeah. i am now back on the production floor (warning: call center jargon). some 7 and a half hours of talking to americans ulit. dati 'tis about their credit ferking cards. now ima talk to them about their ferking car loans. but it's kinda cool, knowing a lot about cars.

so i am all about work nowadays.

not really.

talk about fast forwarding stuff. i kinda like the idea. kanina kasi sa fx naisip ko it'll be a lot easier kung finast forward ko time dun sa oras na sobrang hinihintay ko. here's the mushy part. yung oras na yun ay yung oras ng isang bahay na antique-ish. oras ng zen garden. oras ng goldfish, hamsters, and a dog (and a probable cat). oras namin. oo na, the happily ever after.

minsan kasi mahirap yung pakonti konti lang sa oras. sobra. kaya cheating time is very tempting.

pero yun nga. naisip ko din na cheating won't really be half as satisfying compared to if we'll earn the happily ever after. every corny gift. every corny lines. every petty fights. even the big 'pang-level-up-pag-nalampasan' fights. di maiiwasan. but after all that, di ba nakakatuwa?

maybe i ain't makin sense na. i think i got the block. but yeah...

i hunger. ima eat muna. see you guys. :)

from twilight till breaking dawn

2008-09-28T15:27:00.000-07:00

HOMAYGAWD!!!

okay okay, i'm a little excited bout this. i just finished reading breaking dawn, last of the twilight series. and i tell you. it ROCKS!

now i know a lot of you might not like it pag nakwento ako ng mga mangyayari, so ima make it as simple as possible.

in a nutshell, the twilight series is about Bella and Edward. or i should say it is about their love for each other. they went through a lot to fight for their love. ooh oooh, did i mention Bella is human and Edward is a vampire? kewl right? ü

stephenie meyer writes simply. and no, simple ain't bad. the book is easy to understand and that's a plus plus, lalo na kasi it has a lot of action and you wouldn't want to pause n the middle of everything to get the dictionary and look for a word. the way she creates a picture in your head might sometimes be a little too detailed. but it ain't entirely a bad thing. i think the story line makes up for everything. gawd, you just can't put the book down. if you were able to, am sure you're dying to get hold of it soon.

all the action was great, but the book also makes you kilig. sobra. and it's kinda weird kasi kinikilig ka sa lovestory ng vampire and a human girl. but i swear, napapa-yikeeee ako ng malakas all by myself nung binabasa ko yung mga libro. mas maiintindihan mo ata yung libre kung nakapagmahal ka na ng tunay. oo keso, but it's true. mas masasaktan ka at mas matutuwa ka sa libro pag na-inlove ka na.

syempre, my favorite of the four books (twilight, new moon, eclipse, breaking dawn) is the last installment. uber exciting. and it was such a thrill nung malapit na sa reunion part. lol. but i also like new moon. nakakakilig masyado. hehe.

anyway, i don't have enough words to tell you how good it is. the ending is one of the better ones i've read. parang it's the best nga eh. di kasi masyadong nakakabitin. i was satisfied nung natapos na yung book.

ending ko? eto gusto kong maging vampire.

ayun. so guys, am telling you. go read that dang book. uber ganda.

and for the people who've read the book na, pag naging vampire ka, what extra powers will you have and why? lol. :)

kanina

2008-09-04T12:02:00.000-07:00

kanina pag-uwi ko, dumaan ako sa building nya. tumingin ako sa 9th floor.

naisip ko lang.... di ko ata kayang balang araw hangang tingin nalang ako.

Silent Witness

2008-08-25T00:15:00.000-07:00

lies.

nobody could ever REALLY tell if you're lying, except you.

Richard North Patterson's 'SILENT WITNESS' is a story about Tony Lord and how he managed to go on with his life, with practically all of the people in his hometown thinking that he was the murderer of Alison Taylor, the girl he loved.

Of course, he's the only one who KNOWS he's innocent, since the police were not able to find other suspects, plus the fact that Tony was the first person seen near Alison's corpse. The people who cared could only assume that Tony was innocent.

27 years after Alison Taylor's death, Tony comes back to his hometown to defend Sam Robb, his best friend/rival against a charge of homicide, which is cunningly similar to his case before. Lord will discover things too disturbing to ignore, like the eerie fact that the past has a way of repeating itself... even in murder.

The book ain't new, in fact it was published round October 1997, but this is the last book I've read, and the first book I've read that includes a courtroom drama. Lemme tell you one thing: nice!

This book got me reading all day, tas nilalamig pa kamay ko because of the intensity of the scenes (i don't even know if i used the correct words there... what the heck).

"...Once you start lying to someone you love, it's like you're alone, watching them through a window you put there yourself..."

When all the world looks at you with judging eyes, when everybody hates you for something you didn't do, you'll realize that you're the only one that genuinely knows you're innocent. And when the people you care for belives in you, if they take you in when nobody else won't, you'll find that nothing else really matter. But that doesn't mean you can lie to them. If you do, that'll make you nothing else but a piece of filth, useless and disgusting.

till here.

"....as they say, tomorrow is the first day of the rest of our life."

like this is sooo funny, you know, nakakatawa? :)

2008-08-20T16:29:00.000-07:00

this is a repost. it's so funny i have to share it to you guys.

rock rock sa air, ang ma-hit don't make galit. ü

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ten Conyomandments

by Gerry Avelino and Arik Abu
(taken from The La Sallian-Menagerie)

Conyo here, conyo there, conyo everywhere! Here at La Salle, conyospeak has become an unofficial language as a good chunk of the student body knows, or maybe even mastered the socialite tongue. However, one must never forget the basics of the conyo and we thusly bring you: The Ten Conyomandments.

1. Thou shall make gamit "make+pandiwa".
ex.
"Let's make pasok na to our class!"
"Wait lang! I'm making kain pa!"
"Come on na, we can't make hintay anymore! It's in Andrew pa, you know?"

2. Thou shall make kalat "noh", "diba" and "eh" in your pangungusap.
ex.
"I don't like to make lakad in the baha nga, no? Eh diba it's like, so eew, diba?"
"What ba: stop nga being maarte noh?"
"Eh as if you want naman also, diba?"

3. When making describe a whatever, always say "It's SO" pang-uri!
ex.
"It's so malaki, you know, and so mainit!"
"I know right? So sarap nga, eh!"
"You're making me inggit naman.. I'll make bili nga my own burger."

4. When you are lalaki, make parang punctuation "dude", 'tsong" or "pare"
ex.
"Dude, ENGANAL is so hirap, pare."
"I know, tsong, I got bagsak nga in quiz one, eh"

5. Thou shall know you know? I know right!
ex.
"My bag is so bigat today, you know"
"I know, right! We have to make dala pa kasi the jumbo Physics book eh!"

6. Make gawa the plural of pangngalans like in English or Spanish.
ex.
"I have so many tigyawats, oh!"

7. Like, when you can make kaya, always use like. Like, I know right?
ex.
"Like, it's so init naman!"
"Yah! The aircon, it's, like sira!"

8. Make yourself feel so galing by translating the last word of your sentence, you know, your pangungusap?
ex.
"Kakainis naman in the LRT! How plenty tao, you know, people?"
"It's so tight nga there, eh, you know, masikip?"

9. Make gamit of plenty abbreviations, you know, daglat?"
ex.
"Like, OMG! It's like traffic sa LRT"
"I know right? It's so kaka!"
"Kaka?"
"Kakaasar!"

10. Make gamit the pinakamaarte voice and pronunciation you have para full effect!
ex.
"I'm, like, making aral at the Arrhneo!"
"Me naman, I'm from Lazzahl!"

funny letter. revived.

2008-08-09T19:10:00.000-07:00

everybody needs a good laugh. and this letter was brought up in training. ok people, start laughing.

-----------------------------------------------

The following is a letter found at a certain bar in Manila and has been preserved in its original, unedited form. Enjoy reading and you may try direct translation in Tagalog.

In any case, you'd probably have to be an expert in your own right to write like this!

=======================================================

To Marjie,

I am not surprise or wander why Dennis leave you.

Why?

What reason you can think about but you're very fat body. I thought before that Dennis only use me to his toy but sooner and later I'm realize that he really can't not beared or stomached to be with you anymore because at first,Dennis say he could not stand you're habit of making pakialam all his walks [lakad] and always calling to their house what he go home or this or that and then he say he get ashame to met iether in school or in his family and then asking you to exercise you're very very ,very fat body but you hate it thoughth your the most preetiest girls he knows about what do you think you are "Beautiful Girl " of Jose Marie Chan even you are beautiful face to your think) you do not have the right to called me whatsoever or else different name one time or the other for the real purposed to insults my personality because I'm never call you names iether in the front of Dennis or in the backs of Dennis, but if you start already to calling me different name, I don't have any other choice but to call you other different name to like you are a PIG, FAT, OBESSED, OVERWIGHT, AND UGLY SHAPE girl. Shame to you're body that is to a BUDING. You can't not blame Dennis for exchanging you to me because I am the more sexier than you when you look to us in the mirror. I'm repeat again that you are like Ike Lozada when she is a girl.

FROM: THE SEXIEST GIRL OF D.M.

P.S. You say that I'm the bad breathe but who is Dennis want to kissed. Me or you? You or me? And the final is me.

There you go.

-------------------------

hahaha. panalo. till next. ingat kayo sa mga walks nyo.

random halo-halo... again.

2008-08-05T05:52:00.000-07:00

it's been soooooooo long since i last blogged. prolly because there's nothing much to blog about. err... nah. tamad lang ako talaga.

ayun, since am here now, lemme try to write as much as i can before my ideas leave me or bago pa ko tamarin ulit.

new work

the first week of our voice and accent training just started. yes, i am no longer a bum. *cue cheering voices* i am officially working for jp morgan chase, somewhere in makati. now they told us that we'd better be discreet about our job and other information. praning, i know. but i guess they're just looking after our safety and other good shit.

anyway, it'll be my 2nd day of work later. so far nagugustuhan ko naman mga tao sa paligid ko at work. the trainer is witty. though there are two other trainers na ang soul purpose lang sa buhay nila ay tumango pag may sinabi si witty trainer tsaka magtanong sa likod kung naririnig ba namin yung nagsasalita sa harap.

fun part last night was the pre-assessment. we stand in front of 20 people (17 classmates plus the 3 trainers), bibigyan ka ng topic that's uber weird and you have to talk for how many minutes about it. some fun topics/questions were 'you are an ant, convince an ant eater to not eat you', 'read a letter that you would send home if you are in a circus training camp' and 'how would you modify a snail so that it'll be faster'. mine was 'create a myth about why the pellican's beak is so big.'

ayun. fun.

dissapointed

more like nagtatampo. nagtatampo ako sa mga search engines sa buong cyber space.

dati, pag may di ako alam, mag iinternet lang ako at presto, alam ko na kahit papaano yung gusto kong alamin. never fails. enter father james reuter and the cathedral players.

sila ang sinisearch ng kapatid ko sa net one time, at medyo hindi nya makita. at dahil may tiwala ako sa internet at sa sarili ko, nagvolunteer ako na ako na ang maghahanap. naupo ako sa harap ng pc, and started the search. and i searched. and searched. and searched. and searched. and sear.. ampotah yan. wala. wala talaga. at nafrustrate ako kasi di naibigay ng internet ang hanap ko. grrr. grrr. grrr.

i went out and started fiddling with my phone. aa, mas madali pang i-compose from scratch sa phone ang 'Sound of Music' kesa hanapin yang cathedral cathedral na yan eh.

naniniwala akong mali ang information na binigay ng nagpapasearch, yung prof ng kapatid ko or yung classmate nya. kasi ayokong maniwalang binigo ako ng google at ng yahoo search. kahit wiki binigo ako.

kakayamot.

tsaka meron pang isa. pede ba, hindi kasama sa sekswalidad ng tao ang metrosexual, at least sa gender preferences. ang alam ko lang kasi, para sakin ha, ang basics nyan ay ang heterosexual at ang homosexual. tapos tsaka sya magbabrach out. pero walang kinalaman ang metrosexual dito.

ayon sa dictionary.com ang metrosexual ay:

a heterosexual male who has a strong aesthetic sense and inordinate interest in appearance and style, similar to that of homosexual males

ayon naman sa urbandictionary.com ito ay:

Modern enlightened, sort of rennasance man. Secure and confident, capable and cool, typically well educated and stylish. Heterosexual with a twist, not gay by any means, but he probally has a few gay friends, and can easily be mistaken for gay by rednecks and jock types. The only straight guy in a fabric store or antique shop who is not being dragged there by a woman.

so there. naiinis lang kaso ako. gago bobo tanga grrness. ayun. anti karma sana.

next time.

flashback! plus other random things.

2008-07-13T02:00:00.000-07:00

i was rummaging through my stuff kanina out of nothing to do. and i saw this black notebook from way back in high school. alam nyo yun? yung crosswise na paper na pinabook-bind satin ni mrs. cervo? yeah, that notebook. well, i found mine kanina, and it contained all sorts of my emo writing days. though medyo nakakahiya, here are some of 'em. bawal tumawa. am watching you.

---------------------------------------

'i miss you!'

i miss your smile, i miss your laugh
i miss your dimpled cheeks
i miss your sweet strawberry kiss
i miss your cherry lips

i miss the way you giggle
i miss the way you frown
i miss your light angelic voice
i miss your sweet sweet smell

i miss you, i love you
what will i do without you?
i'm getting crazy in love with you..
my angel... my life...

sabi nang bawal tumawa e. tsk. but yeah, strawberry kiss? wtf? this was dated 060805, 12:22am

---------------------------------------

'peklat'

kagabi, bago matulog
hinubad ko ang aking t-shirt
sa sorang init

syempre, napatingin ako sa aking
payak na katawan at
napansin ko ang malaking
peklat na halos umabot sa aking pusod

naaalala ko, dati pa nakatatak
ang peklat na to sa aking dibdib
nung una'y napaka sakit pa nito
at kumikirot pag hinahawakan.

hinawakan ko siya ngayon,
wala na ang kirot.

napansin ko rin na
kakaiba pala ang peklat na to,
hugis exclamation point.

exclamation point. madalas itong
ginagamit sa mga pangungusap na
sobra.

sobrang tuwa!
sobrang lunkot!
sobrang galit!
sobrang takot!

ilang taon lang naman ang
tanda ko sa peklat na to.
halos lahat ng nangyari, nakita
na nya.

lahat ng sobra at kulang.

hinawakan ko ulit ang peklat ko.
exclamation point.
wala na ang kirot.

wala na ang sakit pero
andun parin ang peklat.

ang exclamation point
na sumisimbolo ng sobrang
alaala.

weird, but i kinda sorta like it. dated 053106, 11:16pm
---------------------------------------

prose naman tayo.

'...sa tingin ko, hindi na rin ako karapat-dapat sa love. haha.. madrama noh? pero totoo... hindi ko mapapasaya ng tunay yung magmamahal sakin. tsaka, wala atang makakaintindi sa kalagayan ko ngayon...magulo kasi masyado..'

'...mahina ako... sobrang hina... kaya ako nagpapanggap..'

---------------------------------------

well there. sige, laugh all you want. i had this very stong urge to edit some of 'em, but i just couldn't. it wouldn't be the same. this is me from before. and i wouldn't be the same me now kung hindi ako dumaan sa ganito. ü

anyway! enough of the nostalgia, lemme tell you one thing. go watch mamma mia! i can't write anything about it kasi di ako makapag-construct ng maayos na sentences to describe it. it's just so damn good. it'll lift your spirits up.

what else is new about me? apat na ulit mata ko.

yun lang. ü

award

2008-07-01T06:35:00.000-07:00

mapunta tayo sa usapang awards.

kanina, i was at starbs edsa central alone. may-iniintay.

i need my TIN for my new work at makati, and i needed to go sa dati kong office for it. dumating ako dun ng mga 9pm-ish. the person who could look my TIN up wasn't there yet. 11pm pa daw. sige, i'll wait since sayang ang pinunta ko pag umuwi ako.

so there i was, sa kapihan, mag-isa. i needed something to do other than coffee and yosi. wow, may newspaper. asteeeeg.

i read two newspapers. same headlines. about this good woman who gave up being a journalist in the US and became part of a group of people who helps somewhere in ifugao. nice girl. she taught and english and literature to kids, and she had to walk a lot just to get to where the kids are. nice noh? yun nga lang pinatay sya while she was walking alone.

the bastard who killed her said, in his defense, that he thaught the lady was his enemy from the village. doy. nakak-inis na rason yan amp. the girl was hit from behind by a stone, got 15 brusises, mainly sa ulo. if i were the bastard, i would've realized that i was hitting the wrong person maybe.. i dunno, sa unang hit ko sa kanya?

bastard was sentenced a lifetime in prison. he can't be killed, kasi bawal sa pinas ang death sentence.

it's just sad that this woman had such good intensions tas papatayin sya ng walang kamalay-malay. at ang pinaka-sad sa lahat was she was given the Order of the Golden Heart award after her death. posthumously, ika nga.

really sad that we recognize a thing that's good kapag wala na.

-----------------------------------

sa theater org namin sa UST, award might mean another thing. pede itong maging pagpapagalit, pambebenga, pangki-criticize. maaawardan ka pag pinapagalitan ka.

kanina, inawardan ko ang HR department ng company ko dati.

grr.. pano, they were supposed to process my TIN dati pa. i worked for 4months dun, and they were taking deductions for taxes. tas ngayon hihingin ko lang yung TIN ko wala silang mabigay. bummer is an understatement.

'i curse the day they were born!' haha. ang kulit kasi.

anyway, i'll deal with 'em later. i think i should sleep now.

hindi ito tungkol sa love: don't read

2008-06-25T17:54:00.000-07:00

'it's my favorite part of the day, driving you..'

'it's my saddest part of the day, leaving you..'

two lines from a movie i've watched around 2 minutes ago, Love Actually.

now i'm not gonna bore you all with the details, though the details ain't really that boring. kinda fun, actually. am just too lazy to type them all in.

now here's what i have to say. the movie will make you feel good/bad/good again. it's about all the ups and downs of love.

love that wouldn't happen.

love that couldn't happen.

love that just falls into place.

love that falls into place and falls out of place.

love that falls out of place but you still stay in love because, well, you love the person so much.

love that you won't let happen but happens anyway.

stupid love. (true)

innocent love.

wasted love.

weird love.

dammit. lotsa love.

one part in the movie that stuck was a funeral. the couple were together until 'death do us part'. can't help to be a bit jealous and all. gawd i'd love that.

and here i am again, writing about love. sabi dati mahirap isulat mga gantong bagay e. baka kasi di mag work out. tas buburahin mo lang yung pinost mo na blog kasi yun nga.

potek. eto na naman ako. nagsusulat. oo cheesy, alam ko. pero eto na naman ako, naglalakas loob. pft. lalong nagiging cheesy.

basta, ang point lang dun, 3x ang effect ng love movie, love songs, love stories sa taong in-love.

'..and true love lasts a lifetime.'
-Love Actually

this is a love song.

2008-06-12T12:04:00.000-07:00

kakabasa ko lang ng blog ni Kuya Richard, at natuwa ako kasi si Nancy Jane, na kinahuhumalingan namin ngayon dito sa bahay, ay si Nancy Castiliogne pala. akalain mo nga naman o... kumakanta pala sya. hehe.

anyway, since i'm already online, bored, and have nothing to do, i'll go and try to write something today. let's start with the start of classes.

%$%*^$^$%&!!!! i don't really know what that means, but i think it gives you something like 'hey this is frustrating' or 'bullcrap naman o'. well, to cut it short, i won't be coming to school this sem. again. ferk. so i have nothing to do. no work. no school. nobody at home to make kulit with other than our cat, na sa tingin ko napipikon na din sakin.

i have to be busy. having something to do makes me think less of the fact that i am an out of school youth (youth pa naman ang 20 right?).

whew. that was tough.

anyway, enough of the drama stuff. i'll be coming back 2nd sem naman. cross your ferking fingers, everyone! you'll get to see me in uniform if i get back. wouldn't that be fun? lol. ü

ok, tinakpan ko ng sando mukha ko just now kasi wala na kong maisip.

i'll go job hunting.

teka, am i allowed to turn this post to a very sweet, mushy article for my lurve? you think so? hmm...

basta. yikee. ü

ang labo ko potek. hehe. see you guys around.

2008-06-02T05:56:00.000-07:00

i don't know if this is cute or stupid.

i just got from my ex officemate's house. drank a lot. emperador plus three big bottles of redhorse. still tipsy.

one part of the night stuck to me. a girl said sayang kasi i like boys daw.

and all throughout the night i was only thinking of one guy.

2008-05-28T18:14:00.000-07:00

'Mabisyo, gago, suwail. Akala nya matagal nya nang kilala ang sarili. Pero sa pagakakataong yon, habang naglalakad sya sa kalsada, nakilala nya ang totoong Noel na inilibing ng lipunan sa ilalim ng imaheng ibinibintang nito sa kanya. Batang takot, mahina, nagangailangan ng kalinga.’ MACARTHUR, libro ni Bob Ong

drama pare. napaiyak ako don. di nga.

something or other

2008-05-26T19:30:00.000-07:00

if i were a frog or a lizard or any other insect eating creature, i'd be stuffed by now.

madaming gamu-gamo (may dash daw sabi ng kapatid ko) na lumilipad sa paligid ko ngayon. now the usual thing that old people do is to turn off the lights, which is what my lola just did. so mukhang may power shortage sa bahay namin ngayon, but the monitor gives the disguise away. normally (or what i guess what normally is), you'd rather turn the pc off than let creatures fly into you in numbers. but here i am, typing blindly into my blog. well, i am kinda cheating since i have my phone/flashlight between my teeth.

now that i am typing randomly, let me randomly type something. :)

1. TUMCS ~~highschool~~ gradeschool reunion

last friday (may 23rd), i went somewhere in taytay to attend a reunion.... again. this time i'd be meeting up with my elementary friends (which are most likely my high school friends as well). now the weird thing is, mas madaming pumunta sa elementary reunion kesa sa high school GRAND reunion na ang school pa ang nag organize. i can only think of a few reasons kung bakit. a.) gusto naming makita ang isa't-isa after some 7 or 8 years and b.) mahirap mag yosi/inom in front of the teachers.

actually mahirap parin mag yosi/inom in front of my elementary friends kasi karamihan sa kanila ay non-smoking/drinking kids. but at least mas may kasama akong mag-yosi sa labas.

the whole reunion was just a long chit-chat among friends who needed 8 years' worth of catching up. nakakatuwa lang na the last time that we saw each other, maliit pa or pumipiyok pa ang boses namin. now here we are with bigger... voices (at least majority samin)! tsktsk, such dirty minds. and a lot more to to talk about other than our homework and cartoons too like some of us are gay now. woot! ü

over all, the reunion was ok. plans of an EK trip was made. ü

2. happy

basta i'm happy! really really REALLY happy.

that's about it. gamu-gamo's are gone now. haha.

till next.

happily ever after

2008-05-16T22:08:00.000-07:00

we were watching Enchanted (for the nth time) a while ago because we had nothing to do. the movie is a big hodgepodge of some of the well-known Disney pictures like Snow White, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty - what with all the happiness and rabbits and singing.

what makes this movie interesting for me are the lines of some of the characters and the songs. one dialog that sticks was from the wicked stepmother/witch/hag and Nathaniel, the sidekick.

'Where are you sending her my queen?'

'To a place where there are no happily ever afters.' *enter evil laugh*

i like it. this is a movie that tells you to not lose faith in love. that something good will really happen. maybe one of the reasons why i am so touched by this movie is because i am back to relating with every ferking love song. i am back to watching my phone light up and expecting someone but gets disappointed because it's just Globe telling you about their stuff. i feel very high schoolish right now. dang love.

my head is not working like it should lately, so i'll leave you with the lyrics of a song that gave me shivers, from the movie Enchanted. this song makes me think of ONE person. pft.

Jon McLaughlin - So Close

You’re in my arms
And all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together
And when I’m with you
So close to feeling alive

A life goes by
Romantic dreams will stop
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting, waiting here with you
And now forever I know
All that I wanted to hold you
So close

So close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
And now you’re beside me and look how far we’ve come
So far we are so close

How could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
We’re so close
To reaching that famous happy end
And almost believing this was not pretend
Let’s go on dreaming for we know we are
So close
So close
And still so far

2008-05-12T15:16:00.000-07:00

"There's nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends.' - Esther, The Bell Jar

ok so now that i am done with the interesting, catchy introduction, let's get on with the content.

last saturday, i went to our high school grand alumni homecoming (at least that's what it says on the tarpaulin) held at Parkridge sa may Volleygolf. una sa lahat, ang hirap pumunta dun sa place. yes there are services sa gate ng Volleygolf, kaso lang to get to Parkridge you must pay 40php. at dahil mabait ako at wala na akong choice, i paid the amount at lahat ng kasabay ko na 7php lang ang binayad ay makaka abot na din sa Parkridge. i pretended na 1st time kong pumunta dun para mukhang nakaka awa at may excuse ang pagtatanong ko ng directions. so nung umaandar na kami, the woman in front of me kept telling about the surroundings.

'maganda yung resort kasi malaki.'

'dito puro foreigners kasi seminaryo.'

'pag-dating dito, golf course na.'

'hanggang dito lang yung binabayad na minimun.'

ayun, so dapat pala hanggang dun lang sila sa may baba. pero anyway i just smiled and looked kind and said thanks to the people for showing me around.

pag-dating dun sa location, i heard music. i followed the music instinctively pero i stopped before i reached the top of the landing kasi kasal pala yung pinupuntahan ko. sa kabila yung event namin.

there they were, my old teachers. it's kinda weird seeing all of them, most of them doesn't look any different from the last time you saw them. i said hi to them. madalas hindi hi yung sagot nila e, tinatanong nila kung masakit yung piercing ko sa kilay. i get the idea that they never really saw me doing things like getting a piercing or drinking or smoking or having sex. to be honest, i never saw them doing any of those stuff too.

after smiling my way out, hinanap ko na yung mga ka-batch ko. apat palang sila at nasa bababa sila, nagkokodakan.

we did some catching up, usap dito about what keeps us busy. binalikan namin yung mga kalokohan namin dati.

let's skip the program because it's boring. let's stick to the conversation i had with my old schoolmates.

pinaalala nila sakin na napakaloko ko pala dati. pinapako ko yung libro ng isa naming classmate sa desk nya. ang lakas kong mang-asar. there was this one time pa nung first year na bumagsak ako sa isang class, sa Values Education pa.

'Caraon, 74....'

silence.

'Valle, 74....'

bagsak ka din? appear!

asteeg. come to think of it, ang tagal na panahon na din pala no?

nung high school, nasa 1st section ako palagi. at kahit hindi man halata sa intsura ko ngayon, i never lit a smoke or drank beer back then. i'm in to those things now.

ang weird pati kasi kahit 20 years old na ko, natatakot parin akong mahuli ng mga teachers ko na nagyoyosi. so nung nandun pa ko sa party, palagi akong lumalabas to sneak a yosi.

that party solidified the fact that change really is constant. change is inevitable.

at kahit ayaw mong magbago, wala ka nang magagawa kasi nagbago ka na.

i went home with the help from a man from a higher batch who gave us a ride to the gate. nag-taxi ako papuntang tomas morato because i'm gonna be having coffee with mingu and other members of Kada.

na-realize ko, the world is getting bigger. and i am glad to have puked with people who i became friends with.

ayos.

barf. what a cheesy ending. ü

bummer

2008-05-08T04:21:00.000-07:00

so yun. bummer.

----------

i was walking in a mall (sa gayway, i mean gateway), medyo contemplating on how good my last few days were. you see, i have spent my last few days with mingu (a suicidal panda). and usually if i am with mingu we eat and have (a lot of) coffee and we talk. and i love talking and coffee. and we also watched The Forbidden Kingdom, na susulatan ko sana ng review dito kaso yun nga, bummer yung nagyari.

so balik tayo sa storya. there i was was smiling rather stupidly about how good my days were, naglalakad, when people started bumping into me. ewan ko lang kung tanga lang ako o tanga lang sila kasi ang taba-taba ng daanan ay nagkakabunguan pa kami. pero di ko na masyado pinansin, kasi nga i was in a good mood.

tapos naalala ko yung phone ko. di ko alam kung bakit pero naalala ko siya. baka kasi may nag-text or baka may ginusto akong itext, kaya hinugot ko yung phone from my right pocket.

wala yung phone.

then a lot of ideas came to my head. realizations pa nga e. at sa dami ng naisip ko, ang ginawa ko lang ay dumiretso papuntang LRT2 at umuwi.

bumili ako ng phone ulit. bago na naman number ko. badtrip. pero ayos lang.

so yun. bummer.

PS
onga pala, after ng isang dekada (di ako nage-exaggerate), may landline na ulit kami. so nakakapag-internet na ko sa bahay at di ko na kailangang pumunta sa shop namin para lang mag blog. yehey.

yosi

2008-04-28T17:28:00.000-07:00

lights. reds. menthol. chocolate. melon. orange. apple. strawberry. ang sarap pakinggan no? parang pagkain lang. pero ang mga nakasulat sa taas ay mga klase o lasa ng yosi.

di ko na din matandaan kung kelan ako nagsimulang mag-yosi. siguro a little over 4 years ago, nung 1st year college palang ako. at masasabi kong i'm a natural. kasi unang try ko palang wala nang sabit. at unang try ko palang na mag blow ng smoke rings, smoke rings agad ang lumabas.

kung nakilala nyo ko na ang gamit kong yosi ay menthol, siguro within a year palang kitang kakilala. pero kung lights ang inabut nyong una kong niyoyosi, mga mag aapat na taon na din tayong magkaibigan.

di ko alam kung bat ako nagyoyosi. siguro mentalidad ko nalang din ang nagsasabing ipagpatuloy ko to. mentalidad ko nalang din ang gumagawa ng excuses kung bakit patuloy parin akong hithit-buga araw-araw, gabi-gabi, oras-oras (wala nang minu-minuto, OA na e).

oo. nakaka adik ang yosi. pagsumusweldo nga ako, medyo nacoconsider ko na ang yosi sa pagbubudget e. pagkinakabahan ako, yosi. pagnagagalit ako, yosi. pagnaiinis, yosi. pag walang magawa, yosi.

naging kasama ko na ang yosing menthol ng matagal na panahon. pero isang araw nalang nagising ako na ayaaw ko nang mag menthol. lights na ang hinahanap ko. posible pala talaga ang pagbabago na walang dahil. basta gusto mo lang. baka wala lang. basta may nagbago at wala ka nang magagawa.

pagbabago man yan sa yosi o sa kahit ano pang bagay.

stress

2008-03-31T17:19:00.000-07:00

i am stressed. really.

NBI clearance

i have to process my nbi clearance as one of my requirements for work. so what i did was after a night out with a friend kanina (tomas morato lang), umuwi lang ako for some rest and i'm off to our town's munisipyo.
time check: 7:00am

pag dating ko sa munisipyo, a saw this extremely long queue. apparently, marami pala kaming magpoproseso ng clearance. badtrip, i should've come straight from gimik to this place. so pila ako, sindi ng yosi. ang maganda nyan, when i was almost there sa may cashier, nasira naman ang computer nila. ferk. it's true, what they say about the government. bulok ang sistema nila. literally.
time check: 9:00am

sabi nung old lady na lumabas from the cashier's booth, they could give us forms for the clearance, we can pay, but we'd have to ack by 1pm for the picture-taking. ok lang, i just wanted this to be over. so i've paid the 115php fee for processing. finill-upan ko yung form at pumunta sa step 2. na-stress ng konti kasi i don't now my mom and dad's place of birth. mas na-stress because of the finger printing stuff. so nakapila ulit ako for finger printing diba? i was watching the process, medyo messy. all of the fingers would have to be soaked in ink. may lolong nakatayo dun na ang sole purpose lang ay ang mag assist sa sinabing proseso. he'll et your hand, get them dirty, get your 115php worth pice of paper dirty with your finger prints, and hand you out one piece of wet-ones (yung basang tissue paper). akala ko, nice. great service a. yun pala, one wet-ones costs 5php. tsktsk. sabi na nga e. sistema nga naman. pano pa makaka-tanggi yung mga tao? akala nila kasama sa service yung wet-ones. wala silang kamalay-malay na they'll be charged for that pala. pft.
time check:1030am

i decided to go home muna to rest at sinabi ko kay lola na gising ako around 230pm. narinig ko kasi dun sa babae from step 2 na it'll take a while for the computer to be fixed. ayun. nag-basa lang ako sandali tas nakatulog ako. nagising ako ng nakangiti, pero nawala agad ang ngiti when i looked at the time. 4pm na. grrr.

pumunta ako sa munisipyo to take my chanes. ding. sarado na sila. what's funny is, pag closing time they are on time. may kinakain na silang miryenda ha. pero pag yung process talaga, may delay. kainis right?
time check: 513pm

more STRESS

Features
Product Line: Treo
Cell Phone Type Smartphone
Carrier: Cingular, Sprint Nextel, Verizon Wireless
Cell Network Technology: CDMA
Wireless Technology: Bluetooth
Supported Memory: SD Memory
Megapixels: 0.3 Megapixels
Operating System:Palm OS 5.4
Supported Media Format: Real Audio, MP3
Key Functions: Digital Camera
Colors :Silver
Digital Camera: Yes
Included Functions: Calculator, HotSync Manager, Calendar, Contacts, Tasks, AudiblePlayer, World clock, Memos, Astraware Zap!2016, Phone, Camera, Media, RealPlayer for Palm, DataViz Documents To Go 7, Palm VersaMail, Messaging
Network Technology: CDMA 800/1900

Digital Camera Features
Digital Zoom 2 X

Display
Display Type TFT active matrix
Display Resolution 320 x 320

Power Managment
Battery Technology Lithium ion

General Product Info
Height 4.4 in
Width 2.3 in
Depth 0.9 in
Weight 6.3 oz
Also known as PalmOne Treo, PalmOne 650, PalmOne Treo 650, Palm Treo 650, Handspring Treo 650, Handspring Treo
Manufacturer Part No. Treo 650
Model Treo 650
UPC 805931012661
Company Info Palm
Dimension 4.4 in x 2.3 in x 0.9 in (HxWxD)

so ayan ang features ng palm treo 650, ayon sa http://www.palm.com/

steg. napakadami pala ng features ng phone ko dati.

dati.

kasi nawala ko ang phone ko last saturday.

stress.

station 002. netopia. trinoma.

2008-03-09T12:46:00.000-07:00

empty.

lately it's been all work for me. office work, or should i say training, and theater work. the last time i slept was yesterday, for only an hour and a half. tas tuloy-tuloy na till now. around 12:30pm friday pumunta ako ng UST for rehearsals. then my 11pm shift at edsa. then antipolo para uminom with NEW officemates. insert sleep here (round 7:30 till 9pm). then to gilligan's trinoma to drink then to timog (esquinita) to drink some more. then to starbucks tomas morato for coffee. now i'm back here in trinoma. 12:43pm.

pangarap ko ding matulog minsan.

caramel macchiato

2008-02-10T22:32:00.000-08:00

nasa jeep ako noon pauwi nang biglang pumasok sa isip ko ang mga salu-salong ideya.

una sa lahat, biglang pumasok sa utak ko (ulit) kung gaano na ako tumanda. ang jeep na sinakyan ko kasi ay galing sa may ortigas extension, dun sa ever. bago pa dun ay sumakay naman ako ng taxi na nanggaling sa eastwood city, libis. nanggaling ako dun kasi binalak kong kunin ang certificate of employment ko. kailangan ko kasi yon para sa susunod kong papasukang trabaho, kaso di ko nakuha kasi kailangan pa daw ng 3 working days para ma-process ang sinabing papeles.

pangalawa, ano nga ba ang ibig-sabihin ng ash wednesday? kasi 20 years na pala akong nakakakita ng mga taong nagpalagay ng cross sa noo kaso di ko parin alam kung para saan yun. hindi ho ako namimintas ng relihiyon a. curious lang talaga ako. hindi ko talaga alam, kung may magandang loob na magpapaliwanag sa akin, salamat.

pangatlo, dati lamang ay hindi ko maisip na ako'y magsisimulang manigarilyo. dahil ako'y palaging kasama sa pilot section noong highschool at elemntary, talaga namang itinatakwil ko ang sinasabing bisyo. pag may marining akong ka-iskwela na nagyoyosi manlalaki ang mata ko at hahanap ng kaklaseng masasabihan ng 'si (toot) daw naninigarilyo. kadiri no?' ngayon, nakaka-tatlo hanggang apat na sticks ako ng yosi sa isang araw. nung nagtatrabaho pa ko mukhang lagpas pa. isama mo na din ang pag-inom. medyo malakas na ko sa mga bisyong dati lamang ay hindi ko matanggap.

pang-apat, mahirap man tanggapin subalit wala nang pang-apat.

ah, nasan yung caramel macchiato? nasa kamay ko habang ako'y nakasakay sa jeep. hindi ko kasi nainom kasi.... hindi ko alam. basta di ko maubos e.

sige na.

going back

2008-01-30T08:43:00.000-08:00

andito ako ngayon sa computer shop ng aking ama, at dahil walang bayad ang pagcocomputer ko dito, siyempre sasamantalahin ko na.

i was going through my messages in friendster. grabe ilang thousands na pala yun na nag pile up kasi tamad ako. anyway, i open some of the messages that were sent to me before. grabe (ulit), ang tagal na ring panahon pala. going through these messages made me see how much i've grown, or at least changed, through the years.

nakita ko sa messages ko na naging straight pala talaga ko. haha. my messages and bulletins about break ups with girlfriends. but it looks so long ago i can't even imagine it now.

as i open some of the messages nakita ko ang ibang mga taong naging crush ko. minahal ko (i guess). at ang mga naging friends ko. some of the people that i crushed on before doesn't look that crushable to me now. and there are some ex-lovers, though our relationship wasn't a success, who'll always remain here (tutok sa utak at dibdib) because of the lessons they've taught me.

i've also seen how immature i was before. tsk. sobra pala. i wasn't thinknig that well. but i guess everbody was not thinking well when they were younger. ngayon? sana i'm thinking a bit better.

one thing i find really good about reading these year-old messages. nakita ko yung mga taong (people) na talagang friends ko. yikee. hehe. di nga, kakatouch.

napaalala din sakin ng friendster messages na to yung times na studyante palang ako. medyo madali nga no? being a student is not as hard as i thought it was. tamad lang ako dati kaya madami akong reklamo about being a student. but now that i know how it feels when you're working, parang medyo mas masarap nga maging student. less stress siguro. i hope mabalikan ko na ang student life this coming sem. i'm already 20yrs old. i need to step up. though pag balik ko sa school i can't give up working. i am used to earning for myself now. gusto ko yung pakiramdam na hindi na nanghihingi. that's one good thing working has thought me. the value of self-reliance (tama ba?). tsaka may konting pride na din ako.

20 is a big number. i guess it's time for me to step up a bit.

so here's one step forward. friends will help me along the way. i know they would.

well, that's about it for this posting. see you all soon.

2008-01-29T17:03:00.000-08:00

what
EVER!

that's what i feel right now..... whudever.

the big 20

2008-01-10T01:57:00.000-08:00

well, it's 2008 already and this is my first blog this year.

I'm not able to blog that much anymore. one is because I've grown overly lazy when i was an agent. two, no more free internet access since i have resigned.

yup. i am officially unemployed.

the day i got my 13th month pay i never showed up in the office again. i went to Baguio and spent a lot of time thinking about how i hate my old company and all. i just showed up last Friday to file my resignation. IMMEDIATE resignation, because if they'll have me serve 15 more days...well... there's no chance of me doing that. no way. and my ti el knows it. so they let me off instantly.

so here i am, finding nothing to do. nothing. NADA! and the worst part of it is - it's by BIRTHDAY!

20 years old. no more teen at the end of the number. gah! I'm old! no kidding. it hit me like a rock on the face.

i'd have to step up i guess. i mean, i need to straighten out my life already.

well, guess I'll see you next time.

BAGUIO PICS!

hibernated

2007-12-07T06:49:00.000-08:00

taddah! i have out done myself. i haven't posted for more thank weeks here (as you can see, i always start a posting this way). my mediocre skills in writing is dying out. help.

sure enough i have a blog-worthy tale to tell aside from my rantings. but first thing's first.

rantings

for two or three weeks now i have been dialing for an outbound campaign (credit card acquisition) and i have been having a hell of a time. really. it's HELL. not only you get a generous amount of shouting from them americans, you also get an extra dosage from your team leaders since you didn't make as much sales as the other day. and if hell has lucifer, here we have Pong. every bit of evil, that's Pong. but he ain't excactly 'every bit'- he's more of a... a LARGE chunk. paint him red and he's satan only extra large. or a very tempting lechon. just what you need fot christmas.

speaking of christmas, i have been fighting a war againts time. a race to the thirteenth month pay. and i was losing the battle. good thing i got transfered to a different account just today. more training more fun. no more Pong!

hey time. i think i've won our little skirmish.

ok, now i'm done with my rantings, let me tell you a story.

TELON

Artistang Artlets came out with this mini play. semi-improvisation. the audience get's to chose the ending. asteg right?

hmm... i'm too lazy to get into the details. maybe i'd get back to this.

or maybe not.

ciao for now.

nothing in particular

2007-09-30T17:38:00.000-07:00

well, title says it all. i'm ranting about nothing in particular.

i just came out of the hospital. i was confined for dengue fever. ugh. i hated the feeling. i hated me having fever that went up to 42 degrees. i hated me being locked up in a small room without windows. i hated the putrid, foul food they served. i hated them getting blood from me everyday. i hated the whole time i spent there. pft.

i wasn't even allowed to eat chocolate. of all the things they'd have to not allow it has to be chocolates. so the chocolates my dad bought for me was devoured by my visitors.

i was in the hospital for 7days. kadiri. ewwness. haha. sorry for the lack of words.

anyway, afte me being hospitalized i spent another week at home where i would have less stress from work. but of course i won't waste a whole week at home, ano akala nyo sakin? hehe.

my hair was getting untidy, and so is my facial hair. instead of my usual bench fix hairstyle i opted to go for something new..... so i had my hair done in ricky reyes's. and the result? i look like a good boy. really. take away the piercings at the eyebrow and left ear and i'd pass for a sakristan or something. so i shaved off my moustache and i left the goatee. good boy looks.

then we went out. one day starbucks tomas morato (very light lang). the next day we went to UST for Artistang Artlets' first major production for this year entitled AGNOIA venue at the albertus magnus auditorium education building. then we went to malate. good boy turns bad on the dance floor.

hmm... a couple of bottles of booze and a glass of margarita sent me to twilight zone. a few songs and a few dances was enough. time to go home.

well, that's about the most eventful things that happened to me so far.

curently i am in my father's computer. one word. YELLOW. but it's cute.

take care all.

2007-09-12T09:03:00.000-07:00

happy ber month!!

yeah yeah it's been hell of a long time since i last posted here. last time i checked my lolo just arrived and now, as i write this, my lolo and the rest of my family are on their way to the airport. and i am stuck here in the office. joy in my heart.

ayun, ber months are here. it's getting a bit cold (or so i wish) and they're starting to play christmas carols already. plus the countdown to christmas has already started, though i really can't keep track of it. i suppose it's some 100 something days till then.

anyway, update on the boring life of an almost not so teenage delinquent.

some change at the office. new team, team leader. new sched. less reps though. they only left 80 people on the floor, the rest they sent to training. luckily i was left answering them cardholders. no complaints though. better than being jobless.

went to san beda to see about getting back to school this comming 2nd sem. ack! i finally laid my eyes on the uniform and it's awful. yes, for those who doesn't know yet, beda already has a uniform. grrr.. now i'm having second thoughts of going back. tsktsk. cream polo and black pants. no way.

shopping. always feels good. it's like teraphy. had a go on shopping just this week. bought clothes and a pair of shoes.

hmm.... my mind just went out. tsk. you know when that happens? when you had so much to say then suddenly you go blank. arg.

well. there's this one thing.

have you watched THE PERFECT MAN? stars that girl in disney... what's she called... oh right, hillary duff. well the movie's brilliant and you should try watching it. it's about this girl (duff), her younger sister and their mom who seems to think that the best way to escape a failed relationship is by moving away. pretty convenient right?

you know how easy it'll be to really move on and forget those heartaches when your in a place where nobody knows you. i mean, you also know nobody, but at least you won't have to put up to passing by a place where you and your ex love had ice cream one rainy midnight. you won't have to see friends of your ex, whom you once had dinner with before. you'll have a brand new start.

ferk.

sometimes it's really hard to understand love and the process of falling in it. and sometimes i would like to get far away, to where nobody knows me. it would be a hell lot easier, but easy isn't always good. and sometimes easy is not the answer, but just an escape to what you really have to face.

cheerio.

return of the comeback

2007-07-14T16:55:00.000-07:00

well after hibernating for how many months, i am back to relay everything under the sun that i could think of.

the reason? HARRY POTTER.

one statement first: Oh my freaking gosh!

i have read the books and i have hearing been from many that the new Potter movie is not that good. given na yun eh, that movies will never be as good as the book from where it was based on. but ferk. and i mean ferk, i absolutely love the new movie. i loved it better than the other movies.

to start with, this movie features the new and improved Daniel Radcliffe. i mean, look at that HOT body. rar.

ok, so now that i've put that away let's talk about the movie itself.

the battle scenes were great. the spells were wonderful (i loved it when Bellatrix Lestrange killed black- simple pero rock).

---------------

hell. i started writing this post when the potter film just got out. at anong petsa na ngayon? i know. very lame.

i hope i finish wriing this damn blog before my eyes get heavy.

WORK

well, work's turning out to be fine. i guess. i'm just on a job goal since i always am being absent for 'no particular reason' according to the management. well duh? ain't hanging out with friends, coffee (and/or) beer plus packs of ciggs enough reason? tsk.

yun na nga, i am now not allowed to be absent for furking 90 days. i managed last month though, so i guess the other 2/3rds of the job goal wont really bug me. plus i got on winner's circle coz i wasn't disqualified for being absent. taddah.

HOME

hmm.... it's beginning to be a boring routin. i go to work round 3am manila time and i go back home right after. i don't have a life anymore. robot. robot. robot.

what's new? my lolo came home from saudi arabia. nakakatuwa, kasi lolo and lola are still so sweet to each other. considering the fact that they only get to see each other every two years. plus lolo is 70 andlola is 73. sweet right? now pray that my lola won't read this kasi magagalit yun pag nalaman nya na dinisclose ko yung age nya.

OTHER STUFF

other stuff? nada. boring. soooooo boring (if you're not boging and you happen to read this part please save me from boredom).

well, that's it for today i think.

wait, one last thing.

whenever i go home from work in the morning (nung morning pa uwi ko) i always see slighty beefy women sa ever gotesco mall (sa harap lang) doing some aerobic stuff. what i don't get is why do they follow their instructor na kasing laki din naman nila? get it? i don't.

ciao.

red lighter

2007-06-12T08:52:00.000-07:00

i have been very busy lately. by choice maybe. to keep things out of my head i load my mind up with tons of work.

they say you have forgotten about it when you can start writing about it. you got over. something like that. but i guess i haven't really forgotten about what happened-i mean-no one really forgets. you just learned how to live with it, like i did. and living with it ain't easy at first.

haha. this thing is starting to sound like a voice over for some movie. anyway, at first i felt really broken. broken bones and ligaments, but much more painful.

i cried. yes i did. in the office. at the mall. drinking coffee. laughing. at bed. oh i did cry. but soon i realized that crying won't do me any good. the melodramatic me. tsk.

i went out with friends. haha. i love my friends. always there when you need 'em. specially that suicidal panda. ack. i love you.

i went out alone. like this one time when i watched Pirates 3 at Gateway's. haha. loner. last full show and when the movie was done i thought that the night was to young, i can't go home yet. so took a walk. i wanted to drink but i didn't have anybody to drink with.

yosi.

i went to this bar where you can drink and dance, but i wasn't in the mood for dance, just drink.

yosi.

did i want to get laid that i night? nope. i just wanted to drink hte hell out of me and go home and sleep like i never did before. i went back to this drinking place (my friends brought me there twice already). it wasn't really nifty and all, but it was ok. i ordered my bottles and started my session.

yosi.

two bottles in. a bit boozed. i wanted to light my remaining stick. walang lighter. nyemas. so i had to come up to this guy drinking alone and ask for a light. and it was given.

haha. that light showed this guys face. hmm.. cute, i thought.

throughout the night it was him that i was looking at. was he waiting for someone?

he was. i know cause i talked to him. how? very chhesy but i sent him a beer before leaving, to say thanks for the light. plus i left a note, just in case.

haha. i really couldn't believe that i could do that. i see it work a lot of times in the movies.

let's see what happens.

all of this just because of that red lighter.

the taddah summer get away, plus soem other riffraff

2007-04-22T13:47:00.000-07:00

hey hey hey! after three hundred years of not blogging i'm back.

ang init ngayon! grr! as in. you'd like to hang out somewhere really cold like the mall, but the effort of just going outside the house is uber dami. hehe, kakatamad in short.

anyway, i'm here to tell you guys about my summer getaway. hehe, as in getaway. to start with.

kabaduyANNE: anne dizon's 18th bertdi partey!

shit parechong dude, tipar na to.

hehe, so goes the host of my ka-kada's weird party. well, the host wasn't really saying anything, the debutant was actually hosting. you know what i mean (?). hehe.

we went to lipa city batangas to attend my friends party. i was blazing hot with fever, but i really wanted to go. nakipag-swap na ko ng day off eh, sayang naman sa effort. and i wanted to take a break from work and those @#^$%#!! credit card holders. pft.

the trip to lipa was really..erm.. uneventful. i slept all the way. i was breathing really hot air. you know how frustrating that gets? and it doesn't help you feel any better. i forgot how long we were on the bus. but i was not feeling well, dagdag pa yung giant bag na dinala ko. hehe. i was looking forward nalang to the food at the part. gluttony.

when we arrived in lipa anne's cousin had to pick us up. lost kids kasi kami e. i felt really malagkit and sticky and dirty and i couldn't wait to clean up and change clothes.

anne's debut was an event, thus it was held in the Event's Center. haha, good work thinking of a name for a building. we went to where anne was, and then realize where anne get's her kawirdohan. her family's just like her, fun and weird. pano kasi kakapasok ko palang sa room kwento ang sabi agad ng pinsan ni anne is 'alam nyo bang nakapatay yang si anne?' haha, cute.

i changed into my 'pinaka-japorms na maong' outfit and smoked a few ciggs before the party. syempre piture piture muna.

so the party starts. the venue was great. we were outside, sitting on the grass, banig underneath and some pillows here and there, and tables were low. the buffet was was really inviting, and so is the chocolate fountain. yum. good thing the program starts with eating.

when i had enough food and lambanog, the host announced the entrance of the debutant. haha. lakas ng dating ni anne, with her great gown matched with the preppy maong.

the rest of the party was kinda good, but you can't really listen to all of the program. i mean, come on.

the night ended with everybody running around chasing people and putting icing on their faces, or it's the other way around. even i got icing-ed.

it was a really fun party.

we slept at anne's. the big breakfast was great and anne's mom got us some kapeng barako which i loved when i tried it - mei take home pa.

my original plan was:
1. i go to lipa
2. i party and eat a lot
3. i go home
4. i go to work

pero syempre plans never really work. please.

summer getaway v2: anilao

last year mingu, jmee and i went to tagaytay kasi it was really hot. biglaan. hehe. one moment we were sitting in mingu's room. then tita went in and asked us if we wanted to go to tagaytay. we said yes and the next think you realize is that you're driving up to tagaytay. jut like that.

this year i had another one spontaneous summer outing with mingu.

she asked me if i wanted to go with her to anilao on our way to lipa. i said yes right away. haha. and i had fever ah.

the morning after anne's debut mingu and i set off for anilao port. on the bus, i remembered that i haven't told anybody at home that i'll be going to anilao kaya tumawag ako kay lola (yes, lol has an orange phone). umokay naman si lola since i was with mingu naman daw.

ayun, lost kids reloaded kami ni mingu. kakahiya, kasi when we saw this sign saying 'anilao port this way' we went to the front of the bus to go down.

'bakit kayo bababa? di pa kayo dito, dun pa kayo sa kabila.'

ang sigaw ni manong bus driver.

yes manong ah, thanks for letting everybody know that we we're lost kids.

we arrived at anilao port safe naman. pero i had to buy some clothes and stuff for the beach, kasi nga biglaan right?

we arrived by boat sa island. we were welcomed by mingu's highschool friends (the sweets..please, hehe). i like the sweets, they're cute.

pure clean fun. swimming, talking, card games, volleyball, drinking. saya. i really had fun with these people. we had a bonfire under the stars. one of the best getaways i had.

i didn't sleep, i stayed up with tracy and we talked. she's a really nice girl, tracy.

anyway, we went snorkling pala. hehe. i love the fishies. we had great underwater shots (c/o mingu). eventhough i had to pay extra and i had to endure the water lice (may ganun ba tlga? ang kati kasi e) i had real fun.

i went home in a cab. dead tired but really satisfied.

so there goes my getaway.

update on you guys sometime soon.

tipar na to dude.

2007-03-26T18:53:00.000-07:00

alright. i have a lot of things to say so damn it with the introduction.

MOVIES

ok, loser mode na naman ako kasi i watched two movies alone. anyway, two movies up.

300

so i watced the film. i didn't want to at first but my friends were talking about how good it is so very often so i had to watch it. di ako maka-connect with usapan eh. and ms. pinera's lessons turned into a movie? i had to watch it.

the story is about 300 Spartans, led by their king Leonidas (Gerard Butler), and their battle against the Persian king Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro) and his quest to conqeur the whole world.

the whole movie is about the fight scenes, and i mean THE fight scenes. the film had a lot digital what-so-thems and it actually worked. i am not a fan of amputated human body parts, but this movie made it a bit tolerable (blood ain't in red, that's good). what i like the best is their marvelous costumes. ugh..the queen's dresses were guh-reat. but i guess some enjoyed her when she's not in her wondeful costume. haha.

the graphics were great as well. it helped give drama to every blow the Spartans and their enemies throw at each other. the music also fit into the movie. rock-ish tunes are a strange choice but it gave a hell of a good effect to the movie.

hell yeah. today we dine in hell.

Because I Said So

fom 300 Saprtans we go to three women and their cranked up mother.

Mandy Moore, Lauren Graham and Piper Perabo play Millie, Maggie and Mae, are Daphne's (played by Diane Keaton) twenty-something daughters. Daphne wants her daughter Millie to be wed, and since Millie's not doing so good in the men's department Daphne decides to help her out by placing an add in a dating site.

when two guys came up, Millie is thrown into a whirlpool of emotions and decisions. but in the end, only what is true will work out.

okay, comments. i wasn't expecting much from this movie. but hey, surprise surprise.

i love how light the movie is. it made me feel good about lurve. yeah, all the mushy stuff. go watch it if you want to feel good. make sure you have a date, para may ka-sahare ka ng thoughts. hehe.

Tipar and others

now other than watching movies, there's this one thing i want to share with you guys.

last Tuesday i went to Embassy with some friends. i was so bored that night so i thought i'd go to this event.

i arrived late, since it was a last minute thing. the event was a launch of a new window's phone, the Palm Treo 175, but i wouldn't talk much about it. the event was boring. really. and these little midgets at the front who were writing down notes (kasi mamimigay ng phone later) actually scolded me kasi i made tabi with them. gah.

so i decided to leave and find party someplace else. but all i ended up doing was geting a taxi ride from makati to buendia and from bundia to cubao. no parties found. zero.

in cubao i was actually thinking of geting some booze, but it was so lonely to drink alone so i just puffed a few smokes wgile thinking of the next thing that i'll do.

while smoking, i noticed this one guy lurking around. i realized what he was immediately (pick up) but i decided to play with him, just for fun. he approached me and asked me what i am doing there. i told him i went to makati but i got bored. he replied, 'dun ka tumatambay? marami ba dun?'

i think he thought i was a pick up myself (cue thunder). i told him i was not. 'sa tingin ko ano ka e...ano ba yun..tripper ata,' he then said. i just laughed at him and asked him how business was doing. he said it was bad. 'sila-sila nalang din kasi ang ang nag-aano e.' he said.

i find this guy's pananaw very refreshing. napaka-simple lang. i talked with him a bit more, and then i saw this guy waiting for a ride home (i guess). he was cute so i decided to take another look-and i caught him looking.

since i was on the hieight of doing what i don't usually do, i decided to see if i was right, if he was really looking at me. i glanced a bi more and i was correct. he was still looking, but wen we see each other looking we would 'shyly' look away. i smiled.

he was leaving so i said g'bye to the kuya and i rode the jeep the guy went in. hehe. very not me. in the jeep, i still throw some glances at him and he at me. one long glance and then we laughed. i finally asked him what his name was.

so there. we're friends now. kulet noh? anyway, i don't think i could ever do that again.

till here for now.

of music, lyrics, alcohol and white blood cells

2007-03-16T22:15:00.000-07:00

'...all I want to do is find a way back into love..'

i went for a movie the other day and i loved it. well, it was a date movie and..er... where's my date?

haha. anyhow, i watched Music&Lyrics starring Huge Grant and Drew Barrymoore. well, to tell you honestly, i didn't really want to watch the film. it just so happens that it was the only film worth watching by the time i arrived in Gateway (which isn't even Gateway anymore- it's Gayway, all the gays and bis munched up the T. haha). i was planning on watching It's a Boy Girl Thing.

so there i was, cold, practically alone. haha. melodrama. grr. so it starts.

the movie is about Alex Fletcher, a member of a once-popular-but-now-a-has-been group in the 80's who's living in his faded glory by going to batch reunions and swinging his hips to their has been hit 'Pop Goes My Heart'. he lands his biggest break since his days of glory when young pop artists Cora Corman (bigger than Britney and Chistina put together!) invites him to write a song and record a duet with her. great news-but there's a big problem. Alex doesn't write lyrics. Enter Sophie Fisher, a substitute to Alex's plant woman. she showcases brilliance everytime she spontaneously utter a rhyme. genius-just what Alex needs. Shopie didn't want to work with Alex at first but when they started to make music together, everything seems to be just right.

i like the song they came up with. i mean, come on! i lurve it with a capital L. the movie is a story of how you should stick up to what you believe in and on what love could do for two broken souls. arg. the movie made me want to grab the guitar and make up a rhyme of my own. pero nakakatamad parin eh, hehe.

anyway, it was great and it is a good movie, especially when you want to feel good.

----------

last wednesday i went to UST to watch plays directed by my friends. they were remakes of musicals, one was for The Phantom of the Opera (i love the girl who played Christine, nice nice voice) and the other was for Grease (Joy Festin always gives acting an umph!). both of the plays were good, given that they were just final exams for one subject and that most of the cast and staff of the two productions weren't really trained to do theater. kudos jmee and mingu!

after the plays, my buddy kuya cyril, gabso and i went to get some booze. the three of us somewhat are in the same situation in love. i won't give details on their stories, but typically you could say were broken. tsk.

coke + grand matador + pulutan + emperador = a great conversation.

in the midst of alcohol and calamares i somewhat blurted out someting about how i am in love now. i have compared my self to a white blood cell. you know how they work? whenver there's something in our body, like when you have a wound or when a bacteria tries to ruin something, the white blood cells always come to the rescue. well, taddah! white blood cell here.

i went home a little boozed and light headed, but i felt great.

anyway, sorry if i couldn't give this post someting deeper. i'm running late for work. maybe by the next post.

toodles.

ferk

2007-03-07T17:27:00.000-08:00

when your heart breaks, every friggin love song seems to make the best sense.

last night i went out with jmee and mingu after Artistang Artlets' election for new officers. i had to talk about how i feel with someone, and these two always were the best someones to talk with.

after dinner at UST we went to starbucks tomas morato. i told them about everything. and i will be writing it here.

yup, what that happening thing already happened and i can now write about it.

you know that movie MY SASSY GIRL? it is about a girl who was gravely broken by a past relationship and a guy who tried to fix her up. well, that was what i was doing-fixing someone up.

it was friendly at first. i just saw him there looking like hell so i talked to him and we became friends. and i fixed him. i put every sense i had into his broken, stupid heart. eventually he was getting over it. he started smiling again. his text messages doesn't just consist of 'di ko na kaya' and 'i miss him so much'. great, my work's paying off.

but the thing is, as i help him out i started falling. shit (forgive me fore the profanity, but i might be using more of it n this post).

it got harder for me to act normal around him. we were 'bestfriends', and i hated the fact that i am liking him in a totally different way. soon i was feeling something so strong that i didn't know what to do about it. i started throwing my phone (syempre sa malambot na bagay lang) whenever he texts me up. i talked about it with officemates, telling them that i would eventually get over the feeling. i was telling people this, not to make them believe, but probably to make make ME believe.

in UST while having dinner, i told jmee and mingu that i know i would have to leave him when he heals. during the ride to tomas morato, it was confirmed. my job was done. a message from him tells that he was happy. i got the idea, i didn' have to ask. i said goodluck. he replied with 'papakilala ko siya sayo pag ok na.' boom. broken. i didn't speak for the rest of the ride.

i wanted to cry, but somehow i couldn't. we were in starbucks, drinking our way into the night. mingu told me i knew what i was getting myself into but i still went through with it. jmee asked me what i plan on doing. told them that i will have to leave him, because i cannot continue smiling as he tells me how happy he is with someone. jmee said i was running away. i told her i cannot stay. i just can't be friends with him anymore, maybe not forever, but not now.

we packed up and left starbucks. i didn't want to go home so i followed some other friends to a bar. i wanted booze. funny how i didn't get drunk. i danced like i never did, thinking that this night i will break free. i'll return to the stoic me.

and now, i just sent him my last message. i told jmee that i will leave him with a question. it's 'what if i suddenly vanished. stopped texting and showing up. what would you do?'

to end this post, i'll live a poem i made at work. proof that i was having something really heavy.

FERK

as i look in the mirror i was surprised
because i can hardly recognize myself-
is that me smiling?

a smile.
i never saw that smile
or maybe i did
it's just been so long since i last saw it

but why am i smiling?
why am i smiling about HIM?

it doesn't mean anything when he said
he misses me
even if he says it everyday
and everynight

so what if he says he wants you where he
is
wherever he goes and as often
as possible?

it doesn't even say anything
when he brings you to your office
and calls you up once in a while
just to check

and when he asked you if it was okay
to go out with an old friend
and asked you if you were angry
you said you weren't, right?

then i said,
i'd rather smile now because i know someday i might
have to leave him

once his heart heals,
my job is done
and it would be my turn to heal
because as i help him heal his wounds
i make some of my own
and he will not understand why i have them
or at least
he shouldn't know

afraid to let go of the feeling
even if i know it's best
what an irony, how i help him with his heart
and how helpless i am with my own

if i seek your help
will you feel what i feel now?
just thinking. no, hoping
that you might

stupid, that's what i am.
and stupid i'll remain till that day when
you wouldn't need me anymore.

and when that day comes
i'll look back in the mirror and see
how that smile made me change
and how that change made me smile.

random halo-halo part II

2007-03-05T12:30:00.000-08:00

okay, i'm running out of ideas for my titles.

from the last time i were here sobrang dami ng nangyari. as in. but some of them are still happening thus i can't write about them yet. and believe me, i really want to write about 'em.

but let's just settle with the things that i can write about- starting with none other than work.

----------

yep, work. february ended really well for me.

to get into the winner's cirlce, you must achieve the ff:

aht (average handling time) of 4minutes and 30seconds
adherence not lower than 90%
and observation scores not lower than 90%

aht

well, since i am a newbie my goal was set at 6minutes even. and hey hey! my ending aht for february is 5minutes and 24seconds.

adherence

adherence is simply logging in and out on time and clicking available plus your attendance. bawal absent, and since perfect attendance ako (which is really something, kasi when i was in school sobrang absentee ako) i have qualified. dagdag pa ng incentive from tje company.

observations

this is when quality analysts (both local and from atlanta) randomly pull up your calls and scrutinize 'em till your starting 100% goes down big time. fortunately, the lowest o got for feb was 98%. hehe, talk about lucky.

to sum it up i qualify for gold. secret on how much it adds to my sweldo, hehe. *ngiti*

----------

maiba naman.

i am so like the song 'hand in pocket' right now. ugh. but the reason behind it is something i cannot write about now.

maybe, maybe in the future. when my job is done and i am no longer needed.

tsk. that's it for today.

kapish.

random halo-halo

2007-02-26T12:26:00.000-08:00

do i look that old?

okay, i went to this house party at bf paranaque last saturday and i met some new people. and as always they end up guessing that i am over twenty (22-23, may humabol pa na 24).

attention everbody: i am only 19.

hmm.. i need to do something. my bestfriend says it's because i am so tall. ferk. being tall has it's downsides.

anyway, my march schedule is dang nasty! my offs are at sundays and tuesdays. split offs. great. at least i have one weekend off. that makes me half a human. but looking at the brighter side of things, my schedule restricts me into partying and going out. i know this will hurt at first, but being not able to party might just do me some good. *crosses fingers*

speaking of work, i have been fortunate enough not to get observation scores less than 90% both from atlanta and from the local QA's. hopefully i maintain this by the end of feb, para medyo palarin naman tayo sa commission. hehe. moolah baby. i don't like money like, like it like it. but hey, more money won't hurt yah huh? huh? kapish.

but i am missing school just a tad more than usual. ugh.. i miss how it is when when all you are worried about are homework and projects, not your AHT and your obs scores. maybe i am getting nostalgic since every sundays they play older songs. yep, them sunday songs always get into my head. plus i went and played the guitar. wah. nostalgia pare. hating it and loving it at the same time.

hating and loving. i am getting confused. grr! i cannot like someone. i just can't.

*mumble mumble*

give me a week or two and this'll be gone. i swear. i'll bet my little sister for it.

anyway, there you go. more ranting when i get a chance to and oh i'd be ranting a lot. toodles.

Deep

2007-02-12T20:36:00.000-08:00

'If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work: Hello. Can't work today, still queer.'

beat that.

i have had, in my two week history of being a customer service representative, my WORST day of taking calls this morning.

i have dealt with variable rates of stupidity, often times with a splash of anger and irritation. i hate it. even chocolate didn't cheer me up. i am frustrated. at kamusta naman ang last two calls ko na mannual authorizations, with both cardholder and merchant on line. to the people who understand call center jargon, you know what i mean. bulldung.

anyways, i'll tell you something about friday. i mean, last friday.

alright. i went out with friends last friday at timog (Deep). and i planned to party all-out, since i never had courage to do so.

so there we were, drinking vodka mixes while waiting for the party to start. soon the dancefloor was crowded and i went in to dance.

THE DANCE

i NEVER thought i could do this, but i danced with a guy and a girl at the same time. call me innocent but this is something new to me. so it was me, girl, then guy.

okay, so we danced on the circle thingy that they put up so we were raised and everyone could see. i was sweating and everything, but i thought what the heck i'm having fun. i never remembered the girls name though.

and when i finally got tired i went down and rested on the table. then i saw this guy who was dancing real cute. so i looked, and to my surprise he looked back-smiling. backtrack, i never tried looking back at people when i see them looking at me. i get shy. Andy always told me to try looking back for once. so now i did try to smile back. *grin*

he danced near me and i was moving my head with the beat and when i was actually going to try to come up to him and dance, one of my friends pulled me away. dang! missed connection pare.

anyway, since my connection was lost i sat down to drink a cuppa. and then i noticed that one of my friends is missing. i went to look for him and found him sitting alone in the room with a lot of pillows (i do not know what they call it). he looked devastated so i sat beside him to try to talk. and apparantly, as i have assumed, my friend has the love aches.

you see, this is the reason why i said no boyfriends till 20. my friend here has been struck dumb by love. i understand how this might happen (yeah, the experience blah). i don't know if being indifferent to love is a good thing, but this is how i am now.

i tried to drill in some sense into my friend. i told him that he deserves a lot better than being another option on another guys list. i told him that he must take care of himself first. i told him how good he was and how happy he was before he met the guy. i told him that he could always live without the guy, since he was doing it before they met. but i might have talked to a cat for all the better, because my friend wasn't listening. but i tried to soothe him, i know how painful it is. heart aches. tsk.

and as Valentine's Day looms, i leave you with something from Pablo Neruda, one guy who's a big inspiration to how i write.

Love

Because of you, in gardens of blossoming
Flowers I ache from the perfumes of spring.
I have forgotten your face, I no longer
Remember your hands; how did your lips
Feel on mine?.

Because of you, I love the white statues
Drowsing in the parks, the white statues that
Have neither voice nor sight.

I have forgotten your voice, your happy voice;
I have forgotten your eyes.

Like a flower to its perfume, I am bound to
My vague memory of you. I live with pain
That is like a wound; if you touch me, you will
Make to me an irreperable harm.

Your caresses enfold me, like climbing
Vines on melancholy walls.

I have forgotten your love, yet I seem to
Glimpse you in every window.

Because of you, the heady perfumes of
Summer pain me; because of you, I again
Seek out the signs that precipitate desires:
Shooting stars, falling objects.

P.S.

i had my brow pierced. i'll let you see soon. ü

2007-02-01T21:37:00.000-08:00

'so, now that i have already given you your credit limit information, and i've already sent you your pin is there anything else i could do to you...i mean with you..i mean for you?'

so goes one of my calls.

yes guys, FINALLY. i am now a full-pledged inbound customer service guy. and what fun it is to take 'em calls. joy in my heart.

and my schedule is super great. i am in at 12pm EST and would be out at 9pm EST. so that'll be 1am to 10am manila time. saya no?

anyway, the good thing is i have been assigned to the cutest team leader i've ever seen (and so far i have around ten, hehe). he is so mabait. because i am the youngest *ahem* and the most inexperienced *ahem ahem*, he has taken to teaching me everything about the csr world, compucredit style.

the downeside here is that i feel like i am back in gradeschool with a tutor (which has never happened cuz i never had a tutor), but then i get to sit with this cute TL of mine and make sure that my stats for work is good.

so basically that is my current work status.

PS
the TL is married. *thunder clap*

oooh ooooh, right. i was asked thrice by them yuppies to have coffee with them. big surprise when they found out that i am from the philippines. weirdos.

on the other hand, my social life is turning out to be exciting.

i have now resorted to watching movies alone. ALONE guys! imagine me sitting inside the movies, eating my big fries and drinking my big iced tea while randomly looking at couples who are making out by the sulok of the movie house and seeing friends make kwento and comments about the movie. exciting.

anyway, the latest movie (which in itself has a double meaning, go figure) is Eragon.

i have toiled in my waking hours and read the book itself. i always make it a point to read the book before i watch the movie.

u-huh. at sa ateneo high pa nanggaling ang copy ng Eragon na binasa ko. hehe. yun nga lang, na-overdue ko kasi

anyway, the book was good. really. i liked it. the scenery and the action was enough to keep me reading for hours. a bit weird, yes, the way Saphira and Eragon communicate (parang text messaging, naghahanap pa ng signal-may mms sending pa) but the whole package is a-ok.

i especially like the ancient language stuff. sounds really elvish-and i like elves.

enter the movie.

and no, hindi siya Christmas lumabas.

anyway, the movie was &*#$@!!%!!!

i do not know what i typed in, but i think it might say the movie ain't good. nuh-uh. no good at all.

the story flow was wrong. the scenes were wrong. the characters were wrong (Arya, she's an elf! where are the pionted ears? asan?!). the movie was wrong.

i may not be good at making movies (duh?), but at least they could've tried to live up to the book.

if rated, out of five the book gets 4 and the movie gets 1.78. there.

---------------------

it's my off till saturday. i will (i think) watch another movie.

that's it for now. toodles.

2007-01-08T00:31:00.000-08:00

as i write this blog, two pervs are viewing a site like pros (etoh, bago tong videong toh).

anyway, i spent my saturday moring and afternoon bumming around. i mean, i haven't been this bored in weeks-months even! all i did was watch pokemon movies all day. argh. talk about quality time.

so by the time the sun went away, i was determined to party. period.

i went by my friend andy's place to pick him and his boyfriend up. we took the lrt2, which was a first to andy (congratulations).

and at last, i accomplished one of my dreams, and that is to take the picture you will be seeing bellow.

i love it.

----------

so, we went to malate right? i was with andy and some other friends. we went to club Rainbow.

you may not understand what i will be tying to say, kasi it's not my right to write it here so i'll skip it. but the thing is, i got pissed! i hate cheaters. i hate 'em. and i hate seeing my friend get hurt. argh! tsk. kung di lang ako sinaway ni andy i would've punched that bitch right in the face. grr.

yeah, i know. it's part of the relationship yaddah yaddah. but one can at least TRY to be loyal, espeially when your boyfriend's around.

----------

on the happier side, i finally got enough courage to dance on the ledge. haha. silly me.

i was texting people at the same time, so this one guy came up o me and said 'So you're that bored?'.

it was a nice start of a conversation. but the turn around was when he tried to kiss me.

i don't know, some of you people might look at it as being pretentious, but i am not quite accustomed to kissing some guy within 5 minutes of a conversation. i am not saying that it's not a good thing, but i cannot do it. cannot do it yet maybe. i don't know.

----------

well, that's it for now. more training tomorrow. woot. joy in my heart. hope the training ends, i want to start getting calls. in the meantime, i'll pretend to listen to the lecture and take more pictures. tc all.

picture taken when bored in leture. sarap pala ng teazz.

it's a weekend and i'm bored

2007-01-06T15:12:00.000-08:00

well, if it isn't the boringest day ever.

gosh! it's saturday and i'm not even sure if i'll be going out somewhere later. i mean, helooooo? i haven't had this much free time in months and what will i do with it? nothing. argh.

anyway, the CompuCredit Inbound training will be ending in a couple of weeks. believe me guys, i haven't taken down notes when i was in college. i couldn't even fill half of a filler back then. but here, i already emptied a filler (my former math notebook) and i am on my way on filling up another one.

well, maybe i DID doodle on some of the pages.. but i did take a lot of notes. honest.

ugh... it's uber hot and i am in an internet cafe with airconditioning, only they don't turn it on. duh? what's the use of the friggin airconditioning?

speaking of 'on', my officemate is sexually abused me!! well, not really. it's just that my baggage was touched by an officemate. haha. i was shocked. really. i ran into a corner and coiled up. i felt that my virginty lessened. *wink wink*

anyway, we were just horsing around (and in horsing, i mean joking. you ha).

san yung connection ng 'on' dun? di ko din alam. hehe.

----------

i will be turning 19 this wednesday. 19. nineteen. one-nine.

i really am getting older. thanks to the people who've greeted me in advance. and to the people who haven't, well hey? galaw-galaw! you still have (one... two..) four more days to send me those presents. hehe. kidding.

what do i want for my birthday? hmm...

i want:

a pink v3x, and i know i will be buying this soon, with my own money. (evil laugh).
a motorcycle.
a new shirt.
a new pair of shoes
a boyfriend

haha. well, the last one is optional. i realized this about boyfriends over the past few months. they don't come easy.

i realized that i have become so practical and cynical that i find it hard to believe the people who are sweet when texting. ugh, i don't know. that's how i am na. why? a series of very unfortunate events.

and people, anybody who's reading, not EVERYBODY wants sex alone. so don't go marching down their throats, asking if they want to have sex with you after exchanging messages with them twice or thrice. it's like:

'hey wazzup?'

'i'm doing good. tired with work. you?'

'i'm ok. want to have sex?'

argh! i hate it. does it always have to be like this? so i vow here that whosoever asks me for sex will perish and have eternal pain. ask me out for coffee or a movie. that'll be better by buckets.

----------

i want you guys to meet my cat, Nemoy (Finding Nemoy). he's fat, he's thick, and he owns the sofa. you'll be seeing more of him from now on.

nemoy posing for the cam

----------

and lastly, i am really addicted to coffee. i almost worship it. so here it is, my coffee blog. hope you people like it.

i saw this butiki at starbucks malate

that's about it for now.

see you all guys.

random pika pika

2007-01-02T13:30:00.000-08:00

huwaw, i didn't know that raining for inbound could keep me from blogging for this looooong.

i will try to give you the things that i wanted to blog about for the past few days, randomly picked from my liquified brain (from training). so here goes.

Christmas won't be the same without you

i don't know guys, but since the day i started blogging, i always spend my Christmas sick. for two years now, i have blogged about a sick Christmas. this year is quite different, coz now i did not get fever like the years before. pero may sipon naman akong green na minsan lumalabas ng walang pasabi. tsktsk.

anyway, speaking of christmas, it has been a 'tradition' for my lola and tita and the little ones to go to thr Riverbanks and do whatever (di pa kasi ako sumasama eh). so my brother and i were left sa house. good thing my dad picked us up, he says we'll be eating out. not surprised to see that my step mom was with him. i was not hostile with her then because she has been showing signs of changing hearts.. or she's sucking up to us. whatever. so we went out to eat sa Max's here sa Taytay. afterwards, my brother and i went back home.

the lunch was quite good, but what made it great was my little sister, Andrea, and her cute statements. she's just 4 years old. here are some of the things that she said to me on our way to max's pati narin nung nasa max's na kami:

'di ba pasko nayon? kaya sarado mga tindahan eh. araw kasi ng mga bata ngayon.'
'hindi ako mataba ah, healthy lang ako.'

how cute.

silip, pisil, kilig.

avery, my friend (people call him aburuy, i call him pangit), and i were texting one night. i do not remember what we were really talknig about, but it came to a point where i said na dapat ba akong kiligin dun sa sinabi nya? then, at that moment, i made a realization that kiligin might be the longest pinoy word with i in it.

later discoveries show that kiligin, silipin, pisilin, and kiligin tie up for the spot.

another realization, mas mahaba ang pipisil-pisilin, kikilig-kiligin, sisilip-silipin and pipigil-pigilin.

honorary member

if i continue this segment, mingu will kill me.

2007, love will live, or else

hehe, tinakot pa ang love. as if naman.

well, mingu, my buddy kuya cye and i met up tomorrow to wallow over coffee and talk about stuff.

i realized that i haven't really been exploring theatre as much as they have been doing, but i also realized that i am pulling apart from the arts as i get into the corporate world. ugh. sad to say, but i do not have time to be in theatre as often as i want to. sad. i wonder what could've happen if i stayed? hmm..

anyway, on a lighter note, mingu said that this year she woukd have a lovelife. well, mingu and the rest of the single people around.

love, asan ka na ba kasi? i'm soooo missing you. tsk. hate it.

i forgot everything else. my legs feel like lead. i am uber hungry. i want chocolates.

till next guys. next lay-out: coffee.

toodles.

2006-12-31T19:18:00.000-08:00

i have been busy this past few days. and i have a lot to tell all of you guys, but let's wait till next time. all i have for this post is this:

HAPPY FREAKING NEW YEAR!!!!

it's been a blast, 2006. thanks to friends (old and new). sorry to the people i've hurt.

i'll be seeing you all next year. mwahugs from me, Angelo Gabriel Caraon.

2006-12-20T21:45:00.000-08:00

i was at Gateway mall the other day, did my shopping and got coffee at Sbucks with some of my friends.

anyways, it was so hot that afternoon and i needed to be here in Libis for my contract signing. i opted to take a cab... or at least attempted to.

i have waited for like forever to get a cab.. as in! i have become wasted in the midst of the taxi-hungry crowd. they kill me.

the problem with cabs is that there is never one present when you need it the most! diba? tapos when you don't need them, tsaka sila sumusulpot. hihinto pa sa harap mo. asar right? parang ganun din pag sa remote. when you want to use it, it is always missing. tapos after mong tumayo at pumunta sa TV to make lipat manually the chanel, poof! taddah! the remote is right on top of the table.

sa LOVE kaya ganun din? when you don't look for it, bigla nalang susulpot?

hmm...

till next. have to get my ID na. woot!

2006-12-19T14:44:00.000-08:00

ok. so it's been a while, and a lot has happened already (damned these keyboards, the letters are missing).

anyway, i can't tell everything, not because i don't want to, but because i simply cannot. i forgot. haha.

so to start.

In or Out

i have trained for outbound here in Epixtar. i was the first person to be certified in my batch. upon three hours of dialing (divided by three days, so that makes an hour a day) i have made two sales, always the first sale of the team. good. i am getting the hang of things. then the account pulled out. no more dialing for me. ASAR.

so there we were, not dialing. we were on petix mode. tsk.

the next day, we were informed that we are to be retrained for another account. bummer.

it is another outbound account. another credit card account. another set of exams. bummest.

enter Miko.

he is this trainer for the inbound account and he tells us that the inbound people need more people. i was thinking about getting into inbound, and this seems to be the perfect time. plus, Miko's totally cute (petite, chinito). so i signed up.

as of now, i am enjoying the training. i like it here. but my crush on Miko faded. good thing too. hehe.

Bed

my friends and i went to Bed last saturday. it has been a while since i went to malate, and i had a blast not because of the boys, but because i got to hang with my friends.

and i kind realized something that day. i am still proccessing it though.

chit chat next time.

oh, and please. i DO NOT have a boyfriend. somebody texted me up the other day claiming that i have one.

hey, if you're going to spread balita, make verify muna the person involved. tsk.

ugh.. these keyboards should be replaced...

till next guys.

2006-12-07T07:30:00.000-08:00

so, here's the thing:

i may be bitchy at times, being sarcastic and all. pero one thing's for sure, i don't mess with people if i don't know them that much. i mean, i won't make asar to you if we're not close. duh? kapal naman ng mukha ko.

kanina, there was this woman who was really feelingera in our class. you know the game Pinoy Henyo? if you don't, watch Eat Bulaga para maka-relate ka to my post. anyway, we had the game at our wotk for training.

we were having fun kasi diba, kakatuwa yung mga hula ng people. the only answer one could give is a yes, a no, or a maybe. there's this ine guy who was practicing his yes, and it sounded like he was making love. funny, so i commented on it. tapos nun, everybody around me laughed. Noah, the Team Leader of the people who will be playing, joked that i was making fun of his agents.

okay lang sana eh, pero here comes assumera gurl who thought that i was making lait to her. as if diba? i won't do that, sabihin niyo pang mapang asar talaga ako. pero i won't do that to someone who isn't really close to me. ang rude ko naman right?

pero NO! this woman would've sworn to her death that i was making fun of her. she was boiling mad. and the thing here is she didn't even hear what i've said. kainis! she was like getting mad at me for a reason that she herself do not know. argh!

but what i HATE the most is the way she shouted at me. di nga niya alam sinabi ko eh.

she was belting out words at me. syempre i got mad. duh? close ba kami? don't bitch around me if i didn't do anything to you, or else.

so what i did was answer back.

'wala akong sinasabi diyan ah? asyumere ka naman. magalit ka kung mei sinabi ako. at pag mei sinabi na ako, get ready kasi it'll be the hurtful truth.'

kung di ako nakapag-pigil, ang dami ko nang nasabi about her. she was tagged as 'JAYA' in our office. go figure.

i may be a newbie to this company, but i know where i stand. so you should know where you stand as well, ang knowing na vetrep ka na, you should understand things better than i do. wag kang magmaganda or magmagaling. tao tayong lahat dito.

if i wasn't in the right mind i would've made patol to her pa. nagpigil nalang ako, which was really hard.

argh. good morning angelo gabriel!

hope the rest of the day goes well.

till here.

2006-12-06T08:30:00.000-08:00

kanina, we were playing charade.

now i wonder... how did i get a freakin bruise over charades?

2006-12-04T17:13:00.000-08:00

this is something i made at the office, while making petix mode.

____________

how to deal with a HEARTBREAK:

1. drink lots of beer

it's adviced to do this with your bestfriend. vomit if induced. it might help eliminate 'sama ng loob'.

2. eat your comfort food

chocolates, ice cream, or anything deep fried. heck, you need to be happy. so indulge.

research says eating sweets will definitely affect one's morale. o, kunin mo na yung tinatago mo sa ref.

3. throw away or stay away from things that would remind you of HIM.

pero goodluck, kasi everywhere you look, maaalala at maaalala mo din siya. mamatay ka nalang.

4. watch happy movies

ang original motive nito is to make you laugh, pero in the middle of the movie you'll realize that you are happiest when you are with him and in the end, iiyak ka parin, habang lahat ang lahat ng nasa paligid mo ay mamamatay na sa kakatawa. sana nanood ka nalang ng drama para lahat kayo umiiyak.

5. make yourself busy

you have to, because once you get a minute alone, all those thoughts about him will immediately come back to that head of yours. kaya bawal kang matulog, tuma*, umihi, maligo, etc.

6. pretend everything's fine

smile. wave at people. tell them you're ok. this might be lying, but when you hear the words 'ayos lang ako' or 'wala yun sakin', you'll somehow believe in them yourself.

heartbreaks will always be hard to deal with. it's like refilling a hole in your heart, thinking kasi that the hole would be filled by your special guy. you made that hole for him and now, nobody's left to fill it up.

even time has a hard time healing the heart. so don't expect that any guide would immediately take away the pain. you just have to try.

try your luck again. wag maging bitter. life will go on no matter what you do.

_____________

hm.. sad.

till next then.

2006-12-02T03:38:00.001-08:00

so here i am again, on the seventh floor of my building. it's our one hour break, but i am not in the mood to eat for several reasons.

i have been in a roller coaster of emotions this past few days. madaming ups, pero the downs are so downing. see? i even violated the grammar just to express how i feel.

what with work and stuff, all i need is a nice BIG hug. *sigh*

more info next time, my team leader will kill me if i come in late.

see you guys. hug me?

toodles for now.

2006-11-27T04:29:00.001-08:00

i don't care what everybody else say:

i deserve to be happy, gaddemet!!

i need someone who cares!! make me a priority for pete's sake. ok?

grr!!!

2006-11-23T20:28:00.000-08:00

my body clock's way ruined.

anyway, my supposed to be ten to twenty days of trainig at Epixtar went to just seven days. kasi ganito yun.

diba i told you that the passing score for Epixtar was 90%? well, i got 99% (not making yabang ah). well, the people who got 95 above would be skiiping the Communications training and would go directly to Sales and Product traing, this week yun. ayon, they gave us the scripts tapos some people were picked to get certified kahapon, and lucky me got picked.

well, certifications, they say, is the hardest part of the training because you have to do the phone simulations with the higher people (e.g. supervisors and QA's).

so there i was, being catapulted to my advanced certification. my stomach was like in my throat- i was soooo nervous.

'yaddah yaddah... thank you for your time. if you have any further questions, feel free to call..'

end of simulations. result: sale.

so there. i'm certified already.

pkus i've been having the time of my life. *wink*

till next peeps.

2006-11-16T22:10:00.000-08:00

good grieves.

a lot of people have been surprised by my sudden leave from school, especially my classmates because i only told them on my supposedly first day of the second sem.

anyway, i have been in training for the past three days now. i thought it'll be different from school, kasi nga it's work right? pero i was SO wrong.

we were instructed to bring a notebook and a pen when we had our orientation. i was thinking, oh well, some notes would be taken on our training next day. so brought this filler i had last sem for english (kasi isang page lang nagamit ko for the whole sem).

wala ng natirang page ngayon.

who knew being in a call center has so much more into it than just making calls. the three days of training i had was all on Foundation Training. we had Telemarketing101, American Culture and Geographics where i had to memorize all the 50 states in like an hour, Credit Card, and Compromise. heck.

i am having a good time at work though, i made new friends.

things are looking pretty good.

it's just that i just broke up with my boyfriend the other day.

damn.

2006-11-12T19:32:00.000-08:00

syempre it took me like forever to get back to blogging na naman.

anyway, i have BIG news for you guys. i won't be studying this second sem.

yes, you heard right. i will be taking a break from my student status and i'll be entering the world of the working people. scary.

anyway, update on you guys further next time. i can't think well today.

toodles.

2006-10-31T21:41:00.000-08:00

it's been five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes since i've last posted something on this blog.

of course, i'm exaggerating.

i have been away for so long that i don't know where to start. so what i'll do is i'll start with the first thing that popped into my head. PRADA.

______

my friend and i were texting about something when he sent me this evilish laugh (bwahahaha). so sinabi ko sa kanya that it was so like a devil and he said that he is one. i cracked this joke that he must wear PRADA because he's a devil and he replied with 'haha, it comes in all shapes and sizes.' i replied with 'what, PRADA?' and he said 'no, waffles'.

and then it hit me. waffles really DO come in all shapes and sizes. think about it.

______

i bullied my dad into giving me his old phone, since it has been ages since i had a new phone. walain daw kasi ako (which is true), but i finally convinced dad to give me a damn colored phone. so he did. all along i was thinking it was a 3220. i'm stupid with units. puro numbers. yung friend ko pa yung nagsabi sakin na it was a 3230i. the heck with it. kaya pala hindi gumana yung settings ko for MMS.

pede na toh for now. pag hindi ko sya nawala for 6 months wala na yung curse sakin na mawawala ko mga phones ko forever.
______

my brother loves HALE so much. he uses my phone just to listen to their songs which i didn't even download myself. he watches Myx and MTV hoping to hear their new song Waltz. at parang magic, he almost always catches the song on air. it goes something like.. 'the most frigid girl, something something..'. it drives me nuts.

i hate HALE.

i hate them because they are so damn good. argh!

______

my friend ruth celebrated her 18th birthday last night. that means food and a chance to catch up with my high school friends. and it was a blast.

my friends said that i changed a lot. haha. maybe because i know a lot about myself na. pero the thing is, i changed a lot pero the clothes i was wearing was so high school pa. pano, dapat kasi light blue yung isusuot so i had to wear that old polo and shirt i considered dead in the closet. dapat kasi i'll be wearing this dark blue shirt nalang pero i didn't para hindi naman ako pasaway.

i should've went with my gutt feeling. i blended with the whole room. para akong chameleon or something. eek. ayus lang, so did the other twenty or so attendees. woo. chameleon party.

______

that's about it for now. my battery's dead. hope i come back within the week para asteeg. haha.

catch yah.

2006-10-11T22:35:00.000-07:00

wow, it has been soooooo long since i've last updated.

anyways, here i go.

my friends and i were having the usual talk by the corridor when the topic came into 'exes'. i said that what i hate the most is when a guy starts talking about his ex. it just ticks me off! specially when a guy starts COMPARING you to his ex. argh! don't you agree? i mean, it must be implied as a rule.

'Though shall not talk about his or her ex when talking to either your current bf/gf or to someone you're making porma to.'

em said that her boyfriend's ate said that her house was far from theirs. i pointed out that she and her bf at least live in the same are (rizal). then marla said sila nga ni edrick eh, marikina to manila pa. then it started.

'eh ako nga dati sa davao eh!'

'eh ako nga dati sa US eh.'

'eh ako nga dati sa venus eh!!'

'eh kami nga dati sa pluto eh.'

'hindi na kaya planet ang pluto.'

'oo nga, ex planet.'

then i got this silly idea. pluto is an ex planet. therefore it is where all the exes live. har. corny.

about my day.. let's not even talk about it. badtrip lang.

uhm.. what? ah.. right.. hindi na ako konyo ngayon?

i'm not in the mood eh. maybe next time.

ciao.

2006-09-23T14:40:00.000-07:00

i feel so good pare.

yesterday was the concluding game for the NCAA season 82. San Beda has been denied of beeing the champs for freaking 28 years dude.

i woke up early to get into my Theo class (8am dudes. i know, bummer right?). so there, i didn't even take my breakfast just to make habol the time. i arrived in San Beda circa 8:07am. a little late but better than never diba?

anyway, i didn't get to get into the classroom na kasi people were going out. naturally i asked them what's happening, and they told me there'll be a mass. so okay, a mass instead of my class. fun.

the mass was for the game. yes, i know, it's too much for a freaking game right? i would say that if it were a month or two ago, pero ngayon i don't think that it is too much. i mean, school spirit diba?

so there we were, at gateway as usual. pare i've been in that mall for like 5 out of 7 days of the week. anyway, i was kinda kinakabahan kasi don't have tickets pa. sold out pare. buti nalang miko has a spare ticket pa.

ayon. we went in early sa araneta kasi last time we didn't have seats na.

we were sitting na right? we were talking about the banners of those PCU people. the heck pare! it was like so bellow the belt! pang-squatters talaga dude. i mean, how rude could you get? can't you put a little int in your insults?

what i hated the most was the banner that said 'GOD SHUTS THE MOUTH OF THE LION'.

pare diba? if you're going to insult someone, don't put God's name in it. and they call themselves the Philippine CHRISTIAN University.

so there, i was really getting angry na nga. i was making insults to them na din. i was saying that they threw coins at us last game. and they say kami daw yun? as if diba? as if we have coins or something. haha. kidding lang mga dude, i'm just freaking f-ed up with the whole thing.

even before the game started, the two schools were pretty heated up na. i mean, what with the PCU people and their crude banners and all. there was cheering and jeering everywhere.

one thing that annoyed me was there was this one spy from PCU sa likod namin. as if diba? i still went and made my comments to them. kakainis. he called this one other guy for back-up siguro. duh? dalawa lang kayo bro, and dami namin dito. wag nang umasa.

i was on my feet all the throughout the game pare. i mean, it was pretty exciting kasi. most of the game, the Red Lions made tambak to the Dolphins. pero they made habol to us.

17 seconds nalang pare and it was their shot pa. 1 point lang ang lead namin. shet dudes. i didn't know how they did it. some of the ref's calls where off kasi. nakakainis pa nga yung isang player who made batok to us. it's a basketball game, not a street fight.

anyway, the last shot of the PCU people didn't come in. and at long last, after 28 years, the Bedans have the championship again. i was really happy. i could kiss and hug anyone near me, pero siyempre i didn't do it diba? unethical pare. you know what i mean.

and what comes after the success? party pare!

San Beda had this party in Mendiola where they invited bands to play for us. it was really fun. i banged my head to Parokya's songs. feels really good after being nerve-wracked. i didn't even care kahit i was dripping with sweat na.

the fun thing was when we went outside of Beda, there were all these alumni around. ang fun pare, we drank a little with them. it was great. i feel welcomed by the Bedan community. the school's spirit is really getting in to me.

i really am liking Beda already.

ayon, i was a little tipsy kaya i took the cab home nalang.

till here muna mga dudes. i'm off for a late lunch.

ciao pare.

2006-09-07T20:02:00.000-07:00

go San Beda fight three times (pare)!

we were like in araneta center cubao yesterday to watch this big game of Beda against Letran. i was still in my corporate attire. i wanted to buy a shirt pero i don't have enough bucks na kasi i bought tickets pa.

we went to alimall muna to eat at tokyo tokyo's. i know it's in the vicinity pero i never really went there. ang layo pala nun sa gateway. sana we took a cab nalang kasi it was like sobrang mainit that day. as in uber init.

after eating we went to araneta na. ang haba ng pila dude. so this is really a big game huh?

ayon. we went in the wrong side at first, i mean, the people there were like wearing blue so we assumed na there were letranites. umalis kami kasi baka they would make kuyog to all of us. scary. we made our way to OUR side. miko kept on sayin 'ayan, mga letranista yan! SAMBEDANS tayo!' i was making takot na kasi baka nga we get into a fight. pero we made it without being hit by people naman.

UMPA UMPA times two
letran drew first blood kasi they like scored first. my hopes were still high, pero as the game went on parang i am losing hope na. pare ten points ba naman ang lamang diba? i wanted to hear the cheer na. it's like an energy boost talaga pare.

the pep squad finally made tugtog na the cheer and everybody made sali. it has a great effect on us kasi nga Beda was like losing na.

sa fourth quarter naging uber ganda ng game.. well, for the Bedans.

kasi nga we were like coming back into the game. soon we made overtake na the score of Letran. i was on my feet, shouting my lungs off na nga eh. i imagine how weird i look like in my clothes. i didn't care na because i was so like happy already. the heck diba?

ayon, beda won against letran. woot pare! joy!

anyway, peace tayo mga letranites. sana walang away.

and i'm really not like this when i speak dudes. i just got a hang over on being conyo, pero i'm not talaga.

swear pare.

2006-09-04T09:47:00.000-07:00

minsan sadyang nagiging bobo ang mga tao.

kanina, habang papunta sa aking iskwela (San Beda Manila), ako'y nakatulog sa may lrt2. ang huling istasyon na nakita ko ay v.mapa. wala akong kalaban-laban. mabuti nalang ang binili kong ticket ay ang papuntang recto (mahaba ang pila sa papuntang legarda).

bobo.

ayon. mapapansin mong naka-sulat ang iyong binabasa sa wikang pilipino. wala lang. trip ko lang.

kahapon, pumunta ako sa CCP (Cultural Center of the Philippines, na ipinag-tanong ko pa ang ibig sabihin) complex para sa 'Project Jerusalem'. hindi ko alam kung ano talaga ang halaga noon sa buhay ko subalit pumunta parin ako kasi kailangan daw.

nag-taxi ako papunta doon mula San Beda, dala-dala ang dalawa ko pang kasamahan na pinilit ko lang sumama nang walang kalaban-laban. pag-dating namin, aba! andaming tao! (gulat faces)

__________

it turns out na this so-called 'project jerusalem' is a shoot for this video na hindi naman namin mawa-watch. it will be shown in England kasi, so it was so kakaninis pero we couldn't do anything na so the three of us stayed nalang.

we were like flabbergasted by how konti the bedans there were, as in mega few lang. actually four lang kami na pumunta, kaming tatlo and the one who made us punta there in ccp. pero it was okay naman. the taxi ride was reimbursed naman din kasi, and we found out that there will be bayad for the participants. and besides, it will be a major jahe if i went back to rizal pa without doing anything diba?

so there we were, looking at the other people. like, parang they know each other kasi they keep on talking in groups eh. then some guy with an uber lalim boses said that we will be starting na so we went in line. pero the line was so tagal so i sat nalang, the heck with the people thinking that the floor was madumi. i am pagod so there. then this one guy kept on like looking at me, maybe because i was sitting sa floor nga. the heck diba?

finally the line made usog na so i had to stand. we went inside and i got to sit with bosconians. i had to talk to them nga kasi i was getting bored. i made friends with this gilbert guy.

ayun. it was so jahe, the shoot. kasi what we all did was just repeat the voice of a recording. eeh puro sigaw lang yun. ewwness. pero wala na ko magagawa. it was nakaka-pagod kasi nga one take runs for 20mins straight.

i made friends nalang to the people around me. kaso i didn't get their numbers kasi bawal ang cellphone. sayang kasi they were happy people pa naman.

__________

so there. tiring but quite fun.

next week i'll be in the mall of asia for another shoot.

2006-08-29T18:56:00.000-07:00

wow. i'm finally getting back into blogging.

anyway, i am uber tired from everything that i am getting into. let's have a rundown.

aLamat

the play that Artistang Artlets will be having this september 28 and 29. i am part of it. the rehearsals are really getting into me. i haven't attended two consecutive reheasals because of two different reasons. i am tired.

getting into the bedan spirit

i am finally getting active in my new school. i have auditoned for Dulaang Bedista, San Beda's official theater guild, last saturday. i auditon for a spot in the director's guild ad guild of singers.

the auditions were a little different from how Artistang Artlets do it.

i found out about the results kanina. i passed.

the marketing association will be having its General Assembly this friday. i am part of the artist center and i will perform in the GA. twice. isang solo ballad number and in a band as the bahista. more rehearsals for me. tired.

and just yesterday i had an exam for The Bedan. grabe. uber stressed na ako and i really wanted the exam to end already kasi i have to rehearse with the band. it was fun though. i was asked to write a sanaysay about Grimace. i found out everything about him yesterday, but that's a differet story altogether. i don't expect to pass this exam. i wrote in a hurry kasi.

life in general

well, i am not sure if i am really okay. but i'm happy everything's happening so fast.

later.

2006-08-25T14:45:00.000-07:00

you know you should move on, but you just can't. you do not undersand what happened... you were okay in the beginning... but beginnings were never meant to last.

one of the better lines i've thought of.

auditions for Dulaang Bedista tomorrow. wish me luck.

2006-08-07T18:03:00.000-07:00

it was supposed to be a night of fun.

i went to party with my friends last saturday. we were dancing and drinking and laughing and talking the night away, just as any party-goer does in a saturday night.

i went there with some new friends, but spent the night with some old friend i texted up. he was there so i went with his group.

so there i was, met all of his friend and became friends with them too. party.

around 2:50am, they already decided to go. to me, it was a tad too early to leave, but because i said i'll go home with them, i did.

i was seated at the back of the adventure, with BJ and MYKS. and eventually it became just myks and i, bj had to transfer to the passenger's seat. the trip was a bit weird, but i am not going mention why or how weird it was.

so there we were, me in my weird state. the car was running fast, and i was a bit anxious. more weird moments, perhaps the weirdest of all. suddenly the car swerved so violently and i thought rocky was mad and he was running furiously. the next moment i hit the right side of the car with a bang, then the right side of the car fell.

imagine a roller coaster ride. fast, and quite dangerous. imagine it turning around its loop. now imagine it happening to you in your own car.

i saw the car turn, i didn't know how many turns we had. people say we turned thrice. i had my eyes open. i banged into the sides as our car turned. it was a scary thing, having seen how everything happened. i was half expecting for the car to give in and hit us all with it's bending metal. i saw shattered glass. i wrapped my arms around the person next to me, for him to be safe. i thought we were all going to die.

my eyes were wide open.. but i didn't want to see...

i was praying for dear life. we were in between the space of the roof of the car and the right side of the car. we skidded for a considerable amount of distance, still expecting for the worst. i think i saw sparks from the friction of the metal and the road. i don't know, everything happened so fast. will i die?

the next thing i knew was that we were making our way out of the car (which stopped at its right side). i didn't know how we got out. i didn't know how we survived. i was hearing cries from one of the girls.

all of a sudden people were around us. i wasn't paying much attention to them. i was more concerned to how my friends were. the girls were crying. rocky seemed not hurt, but he was awfully silent. myks was alright, miller too. bj took in charge of everything. he was talking to the people, telling them what happened.

i was okay, or at first i thought i was. but when i stood a good distance from the car, i realized that my knee and my right arm were hurt. miller saw that i was hurt and sat me down. i was in shock. i was in real shock. i wanted to cry but i was scared of what might happen if i let myself cry. i might get into one of my rare seizures (i've been through a heart surgery). my head was hurt and miller massaged it. i don't know if it did help, but i wasn't that afraid anymore.

i sat there. the girls, myks and miller were sent to rocky's relatives for help. they left. i sat there. looking at how bj handled the situation. i didn't know if i could do that. he was brave. i was too, i just didn't know.. i just sat there and looked. we could've died... all of us..

then bj came with my phone, and instantly i texted my grandma to fetch me up. i wanted to see the doctor. i didn't want to leave bj and rocky alone (we were the only ones left) but my left knee and my right arm were aching. my dad arrives with my lola and tita. i bade farwell to bj and rocky and told them i'd be back. i was brought to the hospital.

i didn't get any serious injury, nabugbog lang daw yung mga muscles ko. i never wanted to be in the hospital again. no more wheelchairs for me. i have had enough of those.

i went back to where the car was and found only bj and denise. i find it only rational to be with them. we went to the investigators together. i on the passenger's seat, they on the back seat.

we gave our statements and went home.

i realized a lot of things. each i cannot say. one thing is that i have to say i love you to the people i cherish. i may never get the chance to tell them. i also realized that everyone in the accident were important to me, yes YOU are.

to the girls:
be strong. live life again. you can cry, but live after crying. crying won't solve anything. be brave.

to myks and rocky:
i hope you're alright. be safe. be well.

to miller:
thanks for helping me. i might have broken down if it weren't for you.

to bj:
thanks. seeing you looking so brave made me brave. i am just here. stay the same.

to my friends:
i love you all.

to my father and lola and tita:
thank you. i could never really verbally tell you that i love you, but i hope you know i do.

to Him:
thanks for giving me yet another chance. how many times was i suppose to die? since i was born i had perils. mortal perils. i do not know yet what i am to do, but i hope to do it in your name's sake.

siguro nga ikaw lang ang gumagawa ng dahilan kung bakit ka mamamatay, pero ikaw din ang gumagawa nang desisyon kung mabubuhay ka. nagdesisyon na ako, gusto kong mabuhay.

2006-08-02T16:25:00.000-07:00

i have discovered a whole colony of ants in my brother's combat boots.

funny. colony. combat boots. doesn't it all fit together? haha. yeah right.

anyway, i danced my ass off yesterday for the launching of the red army, san beda's integration week 2006.

i was part of the departamental presentation ISLASH contest. it was great. the steps were taught to us a day before the contest and we still won second place. cool huh?

and the fun part is i got to meet a lot of new friends from the marketing society. really fun people (cute people too, har).

i wasn't integrated like my classmates. you know, the usual bagoong shower, mud rolling, and THE mendiola run. the people participating in the dance are exempted.

one thing i find good about being part of it is because we have free food (yay) and we didn't have to spend a cent on our costumes.

anyway, i have a very disgruntled mind as of the moment, besides having a very aching shoulder because if the lifting. toodles for now.

of weddings and parties and alcohol

2006-07-30T15:45:00.000-07:00

imagine. you are in a church, old stone walls and the smell of sampagita. you are in your white gown, walking down the aisle. your groom waiting for you in front, giving you that welcoming smile that you would both share forever. everyone was smiling at you, some throwing flowers as you walk by. some were crying, not because of grief, but because they are seeing you walk in that aisle. no more single you. in a few moments you will be wed and you will work on your happily ever after.

then the bell tolls.

not the happy *ding ding ding* that you were expecting, but a rather solemn, ringing sound. death bells.

SUKOB ang kasal mo.

Sukob, a film by Chito S. Rono (Ronyo, i do not know how to write the enye) made me jump up my seat in horror (and that doesn't happen a lot).

Filipino movies are really getting better. especially with horror films. i usually laugh at pinoy films, whether comedy or suspense, because the plot is easy to anticipate. but lately i have been loving pinoy films, and Sukob is one film that you should get to see. its creepy plot itself is enough to make you shiver. the suspense and the shock you get from hanging corpse (ehehe) will surely make you grip the hands of whoever you are sitting next to.

plus, the chanting is catchy.

kasal, sumpa, kasal, sumpa...

_______________________________

i died twice one night.

first was when i was being help-up, my hands cuffed, feet tied with rope. the second was when one friend jumped off a very high place with me.

of course i woke up before i died.

but these two dreams were so disturbing. the fact that i had them in one night somehow made me think, about what? i don't know. weird. it must mean some message or something.

_______________________________

when you are in a debut party, you expect people to be happy and smiling. you greet the debutant a happy birthday, give her a gift (i skipped this part, but i will do it eventually), and go on and mingle with the guests which is normally your friends from highschool.

you wouldn't do anything to ruin the night for your debutant fiend. you must be happy to see them. a friend kisses on the cheeks and catching up with each other's lives.

you eat and become merry with your friends.

you drink beer and remember some things. you drink more beer and remember more things. you drink a lot of beer then you get brave and you fight with each other. you dig up grudges and get mad and people around try (in vain) stop you.

on the other side of the room you sit quietly, thinking of how the debutant feels, seeing her friends fight and curse at each other. then you stand because a stupid guy wants to punch a girl, then he threatens you. you just look at him, half scared of what might happen, half ready to bring this guy down. but you stand nevertheless.

everyone goes outside. people get things settled. more shouts. crying. rain. and it is around one in the morning.

you go home. think for a while. then sleep it all off.

2006-07-24T17:15:00.000-07:00

so how long have i been gone?

too long for me to remember.

and so what did i do during this period of absence?

a lot. too many for me to remember.

i am feeling a little bit of death in me. i feel dead. and it is all because of the myriads of stuff that i have to do.

AA already accepted this year's apprentices, and ofcourse there will always be the showcase of talents. i have been doing illegal stuff, like helping the apprentices with their showcase, but heck. the batch before me did this to us also. and besides, i like this new batch.

for the past few weeks (weeks palang ba?) i have been riding on an emotional roller coaster. love and life and the heck of living. i am in the stage of uncertanty (again?). every blur that i pass by made an impact on who i am. now i don't know where i stand. and no matter how much of the anti-nausea pills that i take, i can't help but to vommit.

i will be leaving taytay very soon. i'll take a room near beda. i am tired of going home..

anyways, till here then. my mind isn't working that well. maybe i'll reblog tomorrow.

2006-07-06T18:39:00.000-07:00

Empaths are often poets in motion. They are the born writers, singers, and artists with a high degree of creativity and imagination.

i went there to help with the concepts for the next play.

Empaths are often quiet and can take a while to handle a compliment for they're more inclined to point out another's positive attributes. They are highly expressive in all areas of emotional connection, and talk openly, and, at times, quite frankly in respect to themselves. They may have few problems talking about their feelings.

i was there, trying to keep my cool. everybody was shouting. i wanted to scream. i did not come to that place to feel like this. no. i am not letting these feelings take over me.

Any area filled with disharmony creates an uncomfortable feeling in an empath. If they find themselves in the middle of a confrontation, they will endeavor to settle the situation as quickly as possible, if not avoid it all together.

i was hating. i was having fun. i was angry, but i didn't want to show it. i was frustrated about something. work. deadlines. people who were not working. i was sad and i wanted to cry.

If any harsh words are expressed in defending themselves, they will likely resent their lack of self-control, and have a preference to peacefully resolve the problem quickly.

then it hit me. THEY were feeling these emotions. i was just there, as always. and i am feeling them at the same time. i was angry at them without any particular reason. i knew one of them was angry. i had to go so i could avoid saying anything that i don't really mean. i left.

2006-07-06T13:10:00.000-07:00

heck.

i am in a mental void.

can't think. must act fast.

effects of coffee and yosi.

2006-06-25T20:02:00.000-07:00

i've been clicking the 'create' for the past few days but when the blanks space shows, i just can't think of anything to write.

grr.

first week in beda. actually it has been just three days because of the slow enrollment problem, i mean proccess, beda had me going through.

the first two paragraphs that you've just read was written seven days ago. that's a major bummer. anyway, i really have to catch up with my posts.

yesterday, artistang artlets (the official theater guild of the faculty of arts and lettets of the university of santo tomas) held its auditions for aspiring applicants. around 60 or so came, including krizzy, someone who joined starstruck before.

i remember how nervous i was when i was the one who were in their places. last year lang yun. and now i am the one grading them.

the auditions had many parts. here are the highlights.

creative intro
applicants must introduce themselves creatively, yung tipong matatandaan namin sila agad. haha, i remember what i did last year. humiga ako flat on my back and sang 'fallin' by alicia keys. haha. wierdo.

so there they were, the applicants. i saw the usual question mark on their faces. the same question mark i wore last year.

at first, no one really did anything creative. they just stood there and told us who they were. duh? san yung creative dun?

eventually they got the idea.

drumroll.

showdown.

ofcourse we members wouldn't give the spotlight to the applicants alone. like last year, tinapatan ng members ang mga intro ng mga applicants.

dancer. there was this girl who wanted to show how good she is in dancing. enter angge, who effortlessly showed her who was better. walang kahira-hirap, angge did what the applicant was trying to do (e.g. touch her head with her feet) with ease. pati si avery nag bending nang walang kalaban laban. winner: angge and avery.

singing. through the fire? one girl tried to sing her lungs out. i prodded seh to tell her who's boss, so she did. when seh stood up and sang, the applicant tried to fight back by singing a higher part. seh sang the highest part without any effort. winner: seh.

choir songs. one girl tried to sing a choral piece. enter me and avery. haha. blended a russian song that we learned last year. winner: us.

acting. girlfriend vs. boyfriend. girlfriend, applicant. boyfriend, gabso. winner: boyfriend.

haha. it was fun.

specialization
the applicants were divided into their chosen aspects. acting, production management, directing, technicals, script writing, and production design. and as i am wearing an ID with production design written below my name, i am assuming that i will be teaching prod design.

actually, acting talaga ang ipinasa ko sa artistang artlets, eh kumusta naman ang twice kong costumes staff? malamang nyan sa prod design na nga ako ilagay.

ayon, project runway all over the room. lecture muna then we let the applicants make a production proposal by showing us their stage concepts, the costumes and the make-up.

rainbow. one wizard with rainbow trails. enk. at weather control daw ang powers nya. major enk.

over external testicles. one wizard who looks like lotus feet with big red testicles on both of his sides. enk.

interview
the interview part was really important. dito malalaman kung ano talaga ang gustong mangyari ng mga applicants na ito.

kuya diego kept on telling me that i was a 'bitchirero', haha. maybe i am. one interviewee cried, and she's from taytay like me. haha. what would happen kaya pag palagi ko siyang makasabay pauwi. hmm.

all in all it, the auditions was successful. had a great time, and i hope the applicants did so to.

we stayed for a drinking session for a while at tapsi manila. had a bottle of booze and left.

tired.

2006-06-16T20:05:00.000-07:00

a precious friend of mine has left my side last wednesday, june 13, 2006 at around 5pm.

nandyan siya palagi pag nilalamig ako, handang magbigay ng yakap.
palagi ko siyang kasama.
sa school.
pag mei gimik.
sabi nga ng iba, we look good together..

sigh. i will miss you, my jacket.

sana magka ketong ang taong nakapulot sayo.

2006-06-13T12:25:00.000-07:00

yesterday was THE independence day.

june 12, monday. everybody was supposed to be in school or at work, but because it was THE independence day, most of us were at home, watching some tv (maybe even that basketball game where Shaq scored a measly five).

well, THE independence day is not being recognized for what it's worth.

it pisses me off. i sent this message to all of my friends and some acquantances (it helps to be unlimited, lakas ko sa globe) and some of them replied with really really loserly remarks. here is what i remember of the message that i have sent.

-naisip mo ba? na independence day ngayon? ah, oo.. kasi walang pasok? pero hindi mo ba naiisip na walang pilipinas kung hindi ito pinaglaban ng ating mga bayani? na walang PINOY kung hindi sila nanindigan.. ngayon, naisip mo na ba? na independence day ngayon and hindi lang basta walang pasok?

happy independence day sayo.-

of course the original text of this was in text language. anyway, some people replied and said, 'hindi, wala lang talagang pasok' and 'cinecelebrate pa ba yon?'

argh! major grrness. is this how we see independence day now? an excuse to ditch office or school? don't we even at least remember how hard it was for those who came before us? how they have suffered under countries? and how hard they have fought for this country to be free?

it's been a hundred and eight years since that day our flag was waved in kawit, cavite. 108 years, compared to some 300 years we were under spain's command, and some 50 more years under other countries.

the numbers here are just what i have remembered from highschool history. i am not sure about it. what i am sure about is that being independent was so precious for the people who went before us. the people who actually fought hard for it. tapos we'll just neglect the single day that we celebrate it.

at least try to show respect. at least try to remember our heroes and their fight for independence.

aryt?

2006-06-08T22:49:00.000-07:00

DI TAMA
by gab caraon

kung ikaw ay mayaman
ako nama'y namayam

ikaw ay mabait
ako'y di makakailang tiabam

napaka-talino mo
ako'y di hamak na onilat

kung ikaw ay nasa taas
tila ako'y pilit na nasa saat

wala kang kasing kisig
ako nama'y tila gisik

ika'y ubod ng tikas
pero ako nama'y tila sakit

kung baga ika'y langit
ako nama'y tignal

kaya siguro hindi
tayo pwede

magkaiba
ang ating pagkaka-intindi

iba ka, iba ako
tila magkabaligtad tayo

ika'y aking mahal
at ako'y iyong laham

at kahit baliktarin ko ang noon
noon parin yon, hindi ngayon.

2006-06-06T21:24:00.000-07:00

it's been a while since i have last posted. been busy with school stuff. and get this, i haven't enrolled yet. tsk. pesky papers.

anyway, i am in the mood for a little tagalog in my post today, so here goes.

KAGABI (woot woot)
kagabi, meron akong naririnig na 'woot woot' sa may likod ng bahay. para siyang cross between a cow, a pig, and a goose (yung tunog). wala lang. medyo natakot lang kasi ako. hindi ko kasi alam kung anong hayop ang gumagawa ng tunog na ganun. creepy.

KANINA (teesyert)
kanina naman, pumunta ako sa pinaka unang GA (general assembly) ng AA (artistang artlets). syempre sa UST (university of santo tomas) yun. pero hindi tunkol sa GA (general assembly) ang gusto kong pag-usapan, kundi tunkol sa isang t-shirt.

alam niyo ba yung t-shirt na BROWN na W.I.L.D. (walang acronym toh, nawiwili lang ako sa parenthesis) yung nakalagay? W.I. sa harap at L.D. sa likod? medyo laganap na kasi yung shirt na yun. una ko siyang nakita sa may megamall, suot (malamang) ng isang nilalang. natuwa naman ako at plinanong bumili ng ganito. pero habang naglalakad, may nakasalubong pa ulit akong isa pang lalaking nakasuot ng parehong shirt. parehong araw toh ha.

okay pa naman. pero ayoko nang bilhin yung shirt.

mga ilang araw makalipas, dito mismo sa rizal, nakita ko na naman ang shirt na ito. mantakin mo nga naman. tatlong beses ata. isang beses sa mamang naka-sakay sa tricycle. sunod sa nakasalubong kong nilalang. at ang last ay ang nagde-deliver ng tubig samin.

at kanina sa UST (university of santo tomas), may nakita parin akong naka-W.I.L.D. (wala paring acronym) na shirt.

ito lang naman ang mga posibilidad eh.

una, baka sobrang sikat nang design nito. pang-masa baga.

ikalawa, yung mga nakikita kong tao na nakasuot ng W.I.L.D. (last na, natutuwa talaga ako sa parenthesis) shirt ay iisa. nagkakataon lang na palagi ko siyang nakikita.

kaw mag-isip kung ano dyan ang tama.

NGAYON (pinoy)
naaalala ko lang ang mga running jokes na kumakalat sa cellphone ngayon. yan kasi ang pinag-uusapan kanina sa meeting eh (nung wala na masyadong ginagawa).

gems yap. few lo pascual. many pacquiao. diba?

hawak ko ngayon ang cellphone. may narecieve akong message na gusto kong i-share sa lahat.

kapag ang pinoy ay naging kano.

GREGORIO TALAHIB

-george bush

TOMAS CRUS

-tom cruz

MACARIO MALDONALDO

-mcdonald

JUANITO LAKARIN

-johny walker

FEDERICO HAGIBIS

-federal express

ESTEBAN MAGTAKA

-steevy wonder

JIMMY BONDOC

-james bond

LEON MANGUBAT

-tiger woods

KASIMIRO BUKAYKAY (love it)

-cashmere boquet

BURGUS BAHAG-HARI

-burger king

TOPACIO MAMARIL

-top gun

RESTITUTO PRUTO (my personal favorite)

-tutti frutti

ROBERTO CONTROLADO

-bert control

DIOSDADO DURANTE

-deo dorant

BUKAS (tuesday)
wala pa naman akong balak para bukas. pero baka bumalik ako sa san beda. magmamadali na ako.

gusto ko nang mag-enroll.

2006-05-31T18:43:00.000-07:00

i have realized some things over the month.

realization #1
i have realized that people think i am short. well, not REALLY short, but shorter that what i really am.

they say that i look kinda small in my pictures. hmm.. that explains the surprised looks on people i meet. haha.

truth is, i am tall. i stand 5 feet, 11 inches. ask my friends.

realization #2
i love anime.

yeah. i really do. i have been watching the morning animes on GMA and QTV and i am totally hooked. specially with One Piece and D.N.Angel. i have even bought the game console of One Piece for the playstaion.

realization #3
i am getting old.

proof that i am getting old is that my cousins, who were so small when i last checked them, are now in their sixth grade. i have been hanging out with them this summer (i had no choice), and watching them play brings me memories of my childhood. when i was in their place, playing with sand, throwing aratilis fruits at anyone in sight. then it hit me.

only old people get memories of their childhood.

realization #4
love stuff realizations.

guy: truth is.. we hide because we want to be found... we walk away to see who follows. we cry to see who wipes away the tears.. and we let our hearts broken to see who comes and fixes them..

me: yeah.. in some cases. kasi after that happens, you will know what to do next.

guy: can't answer that.

me: nakakatakot di ba? the idea you've given me kanina. nakakatakot yung time in between the time you hide and the time you find out who comes after you... yung time na you walk away and the time someone comes after you.. yung time na umiyak ka and the time someone wipes away your tears. yung mga in betweens na yun ang nakakatakot.. what if walang naghanap sayo? what if walang humabol? walang magpatahan sa pag-iyak mo?

guy: ...

me: ...

people often ask me about my lurvlife. well, i always tell them that i have zero. why do i have zero lovelife? i don't know. haha. honestly.

maybe it is because i am scared to commit. hmm.. yeah. someone just told me over yahoo that they smell fear of commitment in me. and maybe they're right. maybe i am scared. maybe i am scared because i don't know if i could still manage to do that, you know, commit.

tsk. the problem with love is you can't really understand it.

commit. hmm.. i will commit, just make me.

2006-05-29T20:24:00.000-07:00

is it possible to fall in love with somebody you've never even seen?

this may sound very far-fetched. i mean, how could that happen? di naman siguro pwede yun diba? it will never happen to me.. sobrang layong mangyari...

chris suddenly woke up. his cellphone was ringing violently on his bedside table. he picked it up and saw who was calling. it was his friend rachelle.

"hello?"

"nasan ka na ba? kanina pa kami dito sa chowking!"

"ha? anong oras na ba?" it was already 9:30 in the morning. chris is 45 minutes late for their meeting.

"i'm so sorry! kakagising ko lang kasi eh. you guys go ahead. sunod na lang ako."

"nakakainis ka naman oh! palagi ka na lang late!" Chelle said. " sige na, bilisan mo ha!"

"oo promise! sorry talaga."

chelle is chris's bestfriend. the two of them, together with six other friends are the writers of the town's summer magazine. two weeks na silang nagsusulat. two weeks na din silang nagsa-sacrifice ng summer.

it was scorching hot outside. chris grew more worried by the minute as the traffic jammed road showed no sign of moving. he checked his watch. 10:16am. he's in trouble alright.

at long last, chris arrived at their office in royal hills. his friends were already half-way through their lunch.

"lunch na." sharie said once she saw chris climb up the stairs.

"oo nga eh. sorry talaga ha."

"hay nako, sanay na kami sayo noh. just drop your things and join us." tina said.

chris sat down between chelle and kim.

...

nothing came after this.

i rummaged around the house, looking for nothing in particular. then i saw this black booklet i was required to buy when i was in highschool. it was for this project i had to do before i get my clearance in fourth year. i had to write something (journal, stories, stuff) in it and pass it to my class adviser.

pero i didn't get to use it naman eh. i put my project in print, tamad ksi akong magsulat by hand.

anyway, i opened the booklet and saw some scribbles. journals and poems. the longest one i saw was this, the one i posted above.

i attempted to make a story pala. haha.

i don't know. i really think that i am too lazy to make a long story. and by the way this crap above is written, i am thinking that i was planning to make my first ever long fictional story.

but i didn't finish it.

hmm.. i can't remember why i didn't finish it. but i have a theory.

maybe it wasn't finished because the inspiration i had to start it vanished in the process of it's completion. yeah, that must be it.

everything starts with one goal. one inspiration. pero if that inspiration is lost, you wouldn't want to continue the work you've started diba? meaningless na.

i think i will not be finishing this story. the idea has expired.

like one thing i couldn't give anymore...

guess what THAT is.

2006-05-26T20:30:00.000-07:00

ang araw na to..
ay araw mo..

pag-dating mo, sa aking mundo..

matatandaan. di malilimutan..

kailanman..
kailanman..

ang saya ng mundo
ngayong ikaw ay narito...

so goes an advertisement i've been hearing on the radio and the television for quite a time now.

when you love something or someone, you'd do anything for that someone or something to remain.

you give up a lot of things. you spend a lot of time. sometimes you even go way out of your limit just to make that someone happy.

(i'll be using someone from now on. to avoid confusion. but it could still mean anything.)

why do you do all of these stuff? because seeing that someone happy makes YOU happy. simple.

enter prejudice.

no matter how hard you try. no matter how much effort you've given. no matter how much good you do and no matter how much love you give, when prejudice enters, everything you do means nothing.

i had an interview kanina at san beda. yes, i am almost sure i will be studying in beda. anyways, back to the interview. uhm. here is what i remember of the interview.

yadah yadah yadah..
what i am trying to say is that san beda is NOT UST.

...

maybe you are looking for UST in beda.

... no. i am not looking for UST in beda. i'm sure of it.

well, that's one thing i had to clear.

...

tell me, do you think people deserve second chances?

of course they do.

why?

because people make mistakes. and from these mistakes they learn. and when they learn, people act on the mistakes they've done and try not to repeat them.

people do deserve second chances. if people do not give second chances, it would really be unfair. second chances are given to people so that these people could prove to others that he could do things. and most importantly, second chances are given so that people could prove to theirselves that they could do it.

matatandaan..

di malilimutan..

but no matter how hard you try, when people have closed their minds to second chances, especially when they have closed their minds irrationally, you will just be f***ed up.

is it not devastating? that feeling? the knowledge that you will not be given fair judgement because one dislikes you? that no matter how much you've lost, you are given unfair judgement.

i have been thinking. what use is it if i continue doing stuff for someone i love when that someone have already closed his mind. ayoko namang umasa sa wala. and it doesn't matter how much i give, i am still given an unfair judgement.

what if i quit?

di malilimutan..

kailanman..
kailanman..

maybe it is better if i stop this passion i give for this something. hindi rin naman ako magiging masaya diba? it's hard, my situation. it really is.

i am losing this passion i have for something. i have given so much for it. but i think what i have given doesn't really matter.

ugh.. for no excuse at all. why do that to me for no reason?

i am reaching the brink of quitting. if i do, i will remember everything. good and bad.

ang saya ng mundo..

ngayong ikaw ay narito..

i had fun. but a little more of that philosophy of yours and i am sure to quit. really.

maybe i am cursed with this:
to live in infinite abyss
and tears i cannot help but shed
while i suffer on my bed.

-from bliss, a poem by gab caraon

2006-05-25T21:04:00.000-07:00

ASA
by gab caraon

pumikit.
umasang sa pagdilat ay mawala siya.

matulog.
at umasang sa pag-gising ay mawala ang panaginip.

umiyak.
umasang sa pagtulo ng luha'y sumabay na mawala ang nararamdaman.

punasan mo na yan.
sino bang niloko mo?

tanga tayong lahat sa pag-ibig...

2006-05-23T19:39:00.000-07:00

so what if Jesus had a wife?

yeah, i've watched the movie without reading the book. my friends and i watched Da Vinci Code yesterday at Robinson's galleria.

so there we were, all four of us looking up at the screen (really up because we were seated at the very front). my friend kai told me that the movie is a bit dissapointing compared to the book itself. but every movie from a book turns out to be not as stunning or as good as the book itself. the last movie rendition of a novel that i liked was the chronicles of narnia: the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe.

anyway, back to da vinci.

having not read the book, it is my opinion that the movie was quite satisfactory. i'm guessing that it didn't reveal as much as the book did, but now i have an understanding on what the whole da vinci code uproar is about.

and what is it really about?

wala lang. it just tells us that jesus christ had a wife, mary magdalene. and that the holy grail is not a cup (as most of us, including me, have imagined before) but really is a woman, mary magdalene still. the whole movie was a chase. Langdon, played by Tom Hanks, was framed as i may say to be the murderer of Jacques Sauniere (Jean-Pierre Marielle) by a catholic organization, Opus Dei. Langdon is later joined by Sophie Neveu (oh i just love saying her name), a gifted cryptologist. together they travel through europe, being chased by the Opus Dei, all the while finding more about the codes and 'the secret'.

my opinion on the message of the movie? hmm..

well, i think that the whole idea of jesus having a kid and a wife is not at all bad (sorry for the word, can't think of anything else that suites). ano naman kung may anak at asawa siya diba? it doesn't change the fact that he still saved us from our sins.

people often over react to what other people say about stuff. yun ata ang law ng mga opinion makers. that's how the hypodermic needle works. someone says something about stuff, and the people who believes this someone will believe what he says.

well, who am i to have a say on this right?

2006-05-21T19:03:00.000-07:00

we watched this play last friday entitled 'OUR TOWN' at the ccp complex.

what is the verdict? i like it.

the play did not give much attention to the costumes and the props and music. just plain acting, which is really great because people focus their attention on the story and not on how badly made the costumes where.

i like this play's script. i love it. it made me realize that life is a treasure. pardon the cheezyness, but life really is valuable. i love life and i love living it. the only problem is i am confused over things.

anyways, i took a platelet (maliit na plate, hehe) where they put chili sauce in from chowking. wala lang, it was a spur of the moment thing. am i bad?

i was confused last friday. i was confused over everything. i was confused when i was in starbucks tomas morato with mingu. i was confused about everything that i was saying.

where did all this confusion come from?

i don't know, honestly.

stop it. stop thinking too much.

2006-05-18T17:20:00.000-07:00

i have now the paper that'll ensure my passage to heaven.

Ang CERTIFICATE OF GOOD MORAL CHARACTER.

(tadah)

yeah, after weeks of trying, i finally get my hands on this piece of paper. i need it for my transfer to other schools. yes, i'll be leaving the only royal, pontifical, catholic university in the philippines. but i'll be very near.

anyways, speaking of good moral character, kanina sumakay ako ng jeep and my 5php coin fell. the driver told me to pick it up but i told him that it doesn't matter. we were already moving and have advanced a significant amount of distance from where i stood before, when i heard this little girl shout 'manong nalaglag ang limang piso niyo.'

i find two things peculiar about this.

one is that i was called manong by the girl. yeah, i'm getting older. but i'm just freakin' eighteen.

another is that the girl opted to run and give me back my 5php than to rather stay behind and keep the coin. sweet girl. if everybody in this country is like that.

last night i had this conversation with a person about the government and its people. at first we were just sharing our opinions on why there is poverty in the philippines. but then our conversation became a debate when he said that the government was to be blamed for this.

i am not a rightist (tama ba?), but i don't think the blame should be put into the government alone. sure, most of them are corrupt. but how about the people?

people complain about how hard life is. people complain about how the government manages its country, how the government should do this and do that. but what have you been doing?

wala. wala masyado.

why do you make 12 kids when you know that you can't afford them? tapos you complain about how hard life is.

it's like when you pray that you win the lottery, pero hindi ka naman tumaya.

we should not blame the government alone. take a look at ourselves first. di ba?

oh yeah, i told the girl to keep the 5 pesos.

2006-05-17T14:22:00.000-07:00

so where have i been?

sick.

warning. swimming around 3am in the morning, drinking a lot of alcohol, and smoking is not a very good combination.

yes, i was downed by fever. for three days i think. and i swear i will never drink any kind of liquor for at least a month or so. no smoking for me too. ugh.. just the thought makes me wana puke (that's pyook, for some of you guys).

so what have i been up to? nothing.

just fixing this skin. ugh. it is my first time to attempt making a skin with these codes. hirap! anyways, i've asked for expert help already.

back to the question of what have i been doing. well, yeah i've been bedridden. but that doesn't stop me from watching TV. yes, good old television. and i have some opinions to share too, some lang naman eh.

starting with the salty champorado of the housemates in Pinoy Big Brother.

haha. laugh. more laughs. can anyone tell me why people mix sugar and salt in one container? i don't understand.

chicago

'...then he ran into my knife... he ran into my knife TEN TIMES...'

(cue music.)

i simply adore this movie. the acting was great. the music was impeccable. though i don't like the actor who played Fred Casely. while watching the movie i find myself singing (or mimicking singing) to the hypnotic tunes of how the girls killed their men. and yes, they had it comming alright.

i especially liked how every song was inserted into the scene. and how the songs were so good.

heck. i like it all.

dora the exlporah

kid's should not be left alone when watching this. it is really scary. dora makes the viewers do crazy stuff like 'hold the fishing rod with your hand, and pull with the other' or 'when i say duck, stay down or swiper will get us'. and what's with swiper the fox? he leaves when he is told Swiper no swiping. when you are being robbed, you don't say robber no robbing.

and besides. dora looks like my journalism prof.

sugar vs. sukar

haha. wala lng. natutuwa lang ako sa kanila. galing talaga ni bitoy.

well, yeah. i have been to exposed to the television. but who cares?

2006-05-07T22:05:00.000-07:00

i have watched Oprah last friday, and the topic for that episode was teen homosexuality.

the average age of gay people coming out to their families has come down to the age of 16, which got me thinking: kelan kaya ako makakapag-out sa family ko?

i try to get something from our conversation about their views on homosexuality. and i think they are not ready for me. hay, it's sad. it makes me sad.

what's so irritating about this is that there is still the mentality of people that if their family member is gay, they become stupid or that one of their parts have been severed. parang naging imbalido.

well get here people. being gay doesn't make one stupid. it doesn't lessen your intelligence. it doesn't make you less competitive. hindi mawawala ang talents at ang abilities mo if you are gay.

but the problem is, some people really don't get that.

2006-05-05T21:53:00.000-07:00

'isang gamot lang ang magpapagaling sa sugat ng puso.. pagmamahal..' -yashamaru, NARUTO

i have been feeling funny lately. i don't know. maybe it's because of my new hair. it's red, and not just any red. it's BURGUNDY red.

or maybe it's because of my staying up late.. or early. i sleep at around 3am to 4am na kasi. and i wake up around 9am to 10am.

or is it because i don't do anything but sleep and watch all day.

my brother and i watched the stars last night on our rooftop, with ice cream and chips and my radio on. wala lang, we just hung-out (tama ba toh?) and talked about nothing in particular. while watching the stars and trying to decipher at least one constellation, i recieved a message.

someone told me that they liked me, that they even love me. and i was caught in confusion. i really didn't know what to say.

maybe that's why i'm feeling funny. i know i want love. pero i don't want it now. or i just don't want it from this person.

basta, i am feeling funny lately...

2006-05-05T20:46:00.000-07:00

gabchi: dota?

ehji: no

ehji: =p

gabchi: chicken

ehji: pugo

gabchi: cock

ehji: balls

gabchi: hair

ehji: NOSE hair

gabchi: PUBIC hair

ehji: ANAL hair

gabchi: BABY HAIR

ehji: Slightly receding HAIRline

gabchi: ARMPIT HAIR

ehji: MOLE hair

gabchi: FINGER HAIR

ehji: CHEST hair

gabchi: NEWLY GROWN PUBIC hair

ehji: NEWLY GROWN FACIAL hair

gabchi: NEWLY TRIMMED PUBIC hair

ehji: NEWLY SHAVEN FACIAL hair

gabchi: CURLY hair

ehji: WAIVY hair

this is how bums communicate.

2006-05-03T21:07:00.000-07:00

days of exciting boredom have turned me into a musician wannabe.

i have been doing nothing but eat my lola's halo-halo (which is STILL sweetened bananas desguising themselves as halo-halo with skillful use of sago and gulaman), watch TV till my head hurts, strum dumbly at my guitar, eat some more halo-halo, eat something else, watch over my little cousins, and sleep.

the weekends are a little better. for two consecutive saturdays i've attended two different (obviously) debuts. and from the debuts that i have attended, i have come up with a theory. the two vital neccessities for a successful debut are Lengua (cow's tongue, i guess) and bubbles.

so there, back to me strumming dumbly at the guitar. yes, i have been strumming alright. and i think i have again imagined that i am a songwriter and have composed another song.

nobody is allowed to laugh out loud. :p

Sing Goodnight
lyrics by: ehji
music by: ehji (still, hehe)

i remember the night, it was bright
full of stars
and their light, they shimmer
in my face
and my gaze, was in haze
i've been crying
and my hands, they were drenched
by my tears
caused by your smile of goodbye

and that night, i was shattered
by a whisper
so soft that it hurts
and my veins, they contain
your lullaby

chorus:
fell me to sleep with your song
wrap your arms around me
like you did before
tell me you love me one last time
then you can sing me your goodbye..
sing goodnight..

i am to blame
for your sorrow, by your pain
i've made a mistake
and i listen to your
lullaby

(repeat chorus)

bridge (or whatever this is called):
put me to sleep
let my heart weep tonight
put me to sleep
and i will never wake up

(chorus ulit)

so there. :p

2006-04-26T21:56:00.000-07:00

i went to uste last monday to fix my papers for shifting, and guess what? i could've taken summer classes. yup, and senora didn't even bother telling about it, so now i have to cross enroll. aarghh..

enough about that. mingu also came to school because, well, because she wants to. we ate at oogles (yay, i missed ginataang adobo) and as usual, played DOTA. it was the most romantic DOTA game i've ever had. kasi naman, the headsets weren't working and the background music were all date songs. plus, ang ganda pa ng lighting. kulang nalang candles and dinner.

i decided to go to Starbucks near mingu's (in tomas morato).

we talked about a lot of stuff over banana flavored drinks and pastry. about our batch in AA, about life, love, commercials, TV shows, coffee. a lot of things. finally, we decided that a night wouldn't be enough for our conversation. so we went to region four, where i live. hehe.

we really didn't know what to do, so we tried to contact our friends in the area. angge was the only one awake by then, and she told us to go to her place nalang.

we bought drinks and chips, and we started talking. oh, i made this song for our kada pala. it isn't really good, but i still like it kasi para sa kada.

we slept at around 5am already, then mingu and i went to my house. maliligo pa kasi ako. hinatid ko si mingu sa tomas, but we stayed at shakey's to bum a little more.

hay. bum.